first night

>>i feel a great deal of anxiety right now; most likely because my life is
>>hopelessly directionless. (i wasn't joking when i said that id be a
>>handful)

>>but i guess more immediately with this upcoming summer, i love my project,
>>but im worried about the mentor thing. i really dont like imposing on
>>people, so im not sure if he really wants to work with me, or he's just
>>been busy. i also dont like not knowing, sometimes people just dont like
>>me, and i never can figure out why (maybe they just dont understand.)

>>so, i should probably be one of your first 1:1's with ample time blocked
>>out, b/c i dont know what is going on with me at all.

>>i have a very adventurous and ambitious (sometimes relentless) spirit, but
>>what seems to be no hope for any sort of direction. i can pretty much do
>>anything (maybe i should just pick something.)

>>what should i do about the mentor thing?

...an email that i wrote dr. p on the anxieties i have about the summer. man, it's been quite a year.

so, i was suppose to go on some christian retreat, but i was too tired (which ended up becoming an illness for a day or so.) according to my timeline:

Week 1 – Set up well organized website for investigation, identify Jazz subgenres, outline the timeline for the evolution of Jazz, identify defining stereotypes of Jazz, understand the basic concepts in musical aesthetics.

...i figure a daily journal seemed fitting (lol, we will see how long this lasts.)

nee cee is my roommate, that will be interesting (especially since i havent had a roommate for 2 years.) jung ha and i seem to cross paths again and again, and inspite of the years that have gone by, its still a little weird. im so different than i was when she and i were best friends freshman year of hs; im sure she is as well. oh well, im not one to force things, i will just go with the flow and keep things Fo'ReaL. im sure God's got something instore for me.

the bible verse of the day is...

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

i am Fo'ReaL going to read my bible everyday, im doing the "out daily bread" thing. i know it's not much (but its better than nothing.) i have to catch up on the past 6 days (booo.)

we are going to schedule our bible study tomorrow after whatever workshop we are suppose to go to. wish me luck!

move in was today (i really mean yesterday,) and i showed up late to the meeting ($50 freakin dollars for the first late we have.) cindy came with me to check out where im going to be living this summer, she talked to jung ha for a bit. i felt weird a light headed the whole time (very out of it)-- its going to take these people a few weeks to get use to me (cest la vie.)

i did a nice job setting up my space. i was about to go to bed, but i ended up having an idea attack, which ended being an exploration around sussex and squire (it is really cold in here.) this is a very creepy dorm, so many corridors and alcoves. i came back at like 1 am and was like, "i don't remember propping the chair against the door, then i realized that nee cee was probably moving in (wow, she has A LOT of stuff.) it is 4 am, and she is still moving in.

i cant wait to hook up with the people who are around this summer. i'm still unsure of this whole on my own research thing. i emailed tina betz, director of cultural affairs in the city of wilmington (i hope i didnt wait too long) to volunteer for the CFBF.
www.clifforbrownjazzfest.com

im probably going to sleep in today.

tomorrow:
get the things that i forgot to bring
learn style sheets for my website
call tina
parking permit
meet with dr. p