Summer Research '04

Subject: An Update from Mormon country!

2004-08-02T12:28:00.001-04:00

Greetings!

So I guess the last update was a looong time ago. Around the middle of
Colorado.
There aren^Òt many places to use the internet around here, mostly because there
aren^Òt many People. We^Òre in Southwest Utah now, near St. George. We^Òll
probably get to Las Vegas tomorrow night and be to Santa Barbara in 20 days.
>From the last update, we got picked up in Chris^Òs aunt & uncle^Òs truck and
driven to their adobe brick house on top of this huge mesa. We stayed at their
house for a few days and hiked in the surrounding mountains. Western Colorado
is very beautiful and has lots of colorful flowers and cliffs. We hiked up to
this old mine shaft and I climbed a short way down it, until Chris called me
out because of a threatening flash flood. We watched some of Le Tour de France,
and were able to understand much of the lingo and commiserate with the riders^Ò
pain. Those dudes are crazy! I hear that Lance won it. There is still snow on
some of the peaks in CO. Mostly on the northern sides and in the crevices,
where the sun doesn^Òt reach, of course. We slid down a snow patch on one of our
hikes. Remember, it^Òs JULY! From Chris^Òs aunt & uncle^Òs house, we headed toward
Mesa Verde, where they have the cliff dwellings of the ancient Anasazi people,
who are the ancestors of the Pueblo and Hopi and a bunch of other Native
Americans. We stayed there all day and toured around the ruins and saw some
petragliphs (sp?)^×rock etchings on the walls. There are these underground
chambers called Kivas: a pit dug into the ground with a log roof, backfilled
with sand and mud, so you can walk over the roof of the weed-smoking chamber
like it is the normal ground. We met a nice biking couple who we drove around
the park with, and at the end of the day, they drove us into the next city,
cause they were heading that way anyway. So we slept in a city mark in Cortez,
and I was able to shave off the offending whiskers that itch my Adam^Òs apple at
the public bathroom.

Oh, hot! Into Utah, we had to be careful not to run out of water. The towns are
so far apart in places that we could easily dehydrate. So we each stocked up on
water and parted ways. [Parting of the ways: I wanted to see some more ruins,
which were along a 45 mile dirt/rock road, and Chris wanted to take the road;
his bike can^Òt handle dirt roads well. So we split, with the intention of
meeting 130 miles down the road.] Chris said he had a relatively easy time, and
had fun going at his own pace. I had a rough time, pushing myself into the
ground, in order to stay ahead of a thunderstorm and also going over this rocky
road. We met a day later (I was resting in a roadside kiva, with a sign on the
road for Chris to turn there) and hung out in the shade for the afternoon heat.
A young man in an RV even drove up and gave us ice water.

All the next day we rationed our water and got along fine. The canyons and rock
formations in Utah are sweet! Huge red spires of sandstone that have been worn
away by wind and water, orange and purple cliffs, white canyons extending below
the road, tons of cool rocks. But it is very hot and sand gets everywhere. When
we eat, the wind blows sand into our bread, and we get a little grit for our
gizzards. We saw Glenn Canyon, Lake Powell, Capital Reef (where we were so
starved we ate the unripe apples and peaches from the roadside Government
orchards), Bryce Canyon, and Zion National park in the last few days. They^Òre
all very cool. [Chris -Edit: We are now official junior rangers at Mesa Verde,
Bryce Canyon (which I thought was better than Zion), and Zion...we have the
badges and everything!!!!] I^Òd recommend Glenn and Zion, above the rest, cause
of the
awesome colors and sheer majesty of the locations. We^Òve taken tons of
pictures, and will fill in all the other details at the end of the summer.

This past Sunday, we were in Escalante, and couldn^Òt find a church to go to.
The
Catholic church in town was only open on the 2nd and 4th Sundays of the month,
and Chris was hesitant about the Mormon church (I wanted to go, as a learning
experience). So, we had an argument about going or not going to the Mormon
church, and in the end we decided to go. But, we eventually found out about a
Baptist church, so we went there instead. They had a potluck dinner afterward,
where we packed the food in. I was eating up until they took the table out from
under me (and even afterward). A woman in the church invited us to stay at her
house for the night, so we hung out with her and her family for the rest of the
day, taking showers and sleeping in beds that night. It was great. We had been
sleeping in the desert for the last week and we both had a thick layer of grime
on our legs. I could lick my finger and clean a streak of whiteness onto my leg
incomparison to the black over-layer. Southern Utah is pretty cool. Lots of
Mormons, wind, and sand. It is sparsely populated, compared to Delaware, but
they do have tons of National Parks.

I can^Òt wait to develop these pictures, and scan them into the electronic
highway. Our plans change daily, but the current one is to hit Las Vegas,
Yosemite, Merced in CA, Monterrey, follow route 1 along the CA coast, and hit
Santa Barbara. That route minimizes on inter-city distances in the desert, so
we shouldn^Òt run out of water in the sun. We^Òre each carrying about 2 gallons
right now.

Catch you on the flip side!
Daniel and Chris

Current readings: Galatians 1-6

ps I had to change my tire 3 times this-morning due to a broken valve
stem...and other problems! Just another fun part of bicycling (Chris)

a generation of hypocrites

2004-08-02T12:28:00.000-04:00

Hip hop is misogynistic to all women. The sole reason that hip hop artists continue to express themselves by those means is b/c they profit so well from it. "It is inescapably a part of our culture, and there doesn't seem to be anything for us to do about it"-- sadly, the attitude of our generation.

undeniably, we are a generation of hypocrites. Not only hypocrites, but we are also always making excuses for why things have to be the way they are. We say that people need to love their bodies, but we are never satisfied with our own. We cry for the starving orphans in china, but we complain about the food we eat. We believe that all men are created equal, yet we put people down for being different. It seems fitting that although we believe women should not be subject towards gender injustices, we find it acceptable in certain circumstances. Oh well, I guess that's just the way things are.

Super Star

2004-08-02T12:26:00.000-04:00

As a Christian, I can only speak on behalf of my own affiliation. In light of what seems to be a vast majority, I can truthfully tell you that I feel like one of very few. Most people identify with the religion they inherit from their parents (if they identify with any at all,) yet few are actively pursuing a relationship with God. The state of religion in America is mere association-- People can *be* Christian, but it does not mean that they are trying to live as Christ would.

We are all born with the desire to be loved and to questions of who we are and why we are here. There are people around the world with no choice in the matter, their freedoms constricted by greed and ignorance. In America, however, we willingly surrender that inquiry and settle for how society tells us we should be.

survival of the fittest

2004-08-02T12:24:00.000-04:00

Of the concurrent endemics prevalent in the world, one of the most infectious in America is stupidity. If people are intentionally killing themselves, why should money be spent in trying to keep them alive. Health care should be for people who are trying to live a healthy life, those who take care of their health, instead of waiting for someone else to do it for them.

People who smoke do not deserve universal health care, at the very most they may recieve assistance in the disabuse of their addictions; however, many smokers laud in their lifestyles in spite of the threat it poses towards their well being. Universal health care may ameliorate the wellness of our nation, but it also perpetuates its irresponsibility. Once we find the cure for stupidy, then we can work on better health care.

super star

2004-07-28T14:15:00.000-04:00

We are all born with the desire to be loved and to questions of who we are and why we are here. There are people around the world with no choice in the matter, their freedoms constricted by greed and ignorance. In America, however, we willingly surrender that inquiry and settle for how society tells us we should be.

personal statement take 4

2004-07-23T21:19:00.000-04:00

When I was a little girl, about 5 years old, my father brought home a Nintendo Entertainment System. Through a sequence of buttons, I could immerse myself into another world, tackling adventures and adversity that my imagination was not yet sophisticated enough to construct on its own. At that age, my means of interaction was not exclusively through spoken dialects. On top of juggling the languages of two cultures, I began to study the artistic expressions of music. The cognition of communication flourished in my early childhood, and although it seemed to be thoughtless leisure at the time, the 8-bit processor that ran in my living room began training me to understand the digital interaction between my analogue precision and its 7-pin controller. Through a meager collection of capacitors and resistors, my childhood pastime allowed me to see the world in ways that real life restricted, not that my actions did not yield consequences, but that I could always go back and discover the correct way of doing things.  Since I was not able to understand the science behind the stimuli, these virtual realities sparked a life-long curiosity on whether machine could intelligibly interact with man.

As a University of Delaware 2003 Science and Engineering Scholar, I worked as a team member with a number of graduate programmers on a Mobil Ad Hoc Networking simulator for military operations.  Under the direction of Dr. Stephan Bohacek, professor of computer engineering, I was given the role of researching military operations, working with OpenGL to efficiently create a way of producing urban areas, and helping to determine a conventional way for nodes to mobilize in such an environment. Although the Internet has introduced an ever-increasing amount of information to the fingertips of millions, it is confined to the limits of wired communication; long overdue, the next stage of this information, communication, and computation explosion will inevitably come with the deployment of Mobile ad hoc Networking—MANETs, impacting on every apparent aspect of life.  It was the central goal of our work to advance the performance of such wireless networks.

For the first time in my undergraduate studies, I was challenged to apply my acquired knowledge in computers towards solving a much bigger problem.  Research has encouraged me to aspire a graduate degree, leading me to the Ronald McNair Scholar Post-Baccalaureate Achievement Program. Through the McNair Program, I took on a more independent study with Professor Richard Hanley, of the Philosophy department. Although my project, “The Aesthetics of Jazz,” seemed to be no more than a breadth experience to investigate my stretch of interests, I began to realize the correlation between my passions of music and computers. This has led me to conclude that jazz, more than mere music, is like a language of its own culture; similarly, computer science is the study of communicating logic. In addition, my work in computer science is balanced with philosophical meanderings, giving me insight into the types of worlds and realities that I might one day (re)create through applied artificial intelligence.

I am just beginning to scratch the surface of the artificial intelligence anomaly, including my childhood infatuation with it. In particular, I am interested in Dr. Michael Lewis’s investigation of Human-Agent Interactions and Game Engines in Research. I believe that adversity and experience build character; however, the realm of interaction is not exclusively person to person. Novels and movies trigger profound ideas and emotions, but so much is left for its audience to pursue. The uncharted possibilities of virtual reality would be a fruitful area of research, because of the intellectual taboo that overlooks video games.   This under-explored idiom can potentially express literary genius and cinematic masterpiece through the creative development of AI and VR. With computer science as my medium for inducing progress, I hope to develop a means for effectively communicating revolutionary ideas.

personal statement again

2004-07-23T19:32:00.000-04:00

When I was a little girl, about 5 years old, my father brought home a Nintendo Entertainment System. Through a sequence of buttons, I could immerse myself into another world, adventures and adversity that my imagination was not yet sophisticated enough to construct on its own. At that age, my means of interaction was not exclusively through spoken dialects. On top of juggling the languages of two cultures, I began to study the artistic expressions of music. The cognition of communication flourished in my early childhood, and although it seemed to be thoughtless leisure at the time, the 8-bit processor that ran in my living room began training me to understand the digital interaction between my analogue precision and its 7-pin controller. Through a meager collection of capacitors and resistors, my childhood pastime allowed me to see the world in ways that real life restricted, not that my actions did not yield consequences, but that I could always go back and discover the correct way of doing things.  Since I was not able to understand the science behind the stimuli, these virtual realities sparked a life-long curiosity on whether machine could intelligibly interact with man.

As a Science and Engineering Scholar in summer 2003, through the UD Department of Computer Engineering, I worked in a team of programmers on a Mobil Ad Hoc Networking simulator for military operations.  This was a project lead by Dr. Stephan Bohacek, and specifically, I was given the role of researching military operations, working with OpenGL to efficiently create a way of producing urban areas, and helping to determine a conventional way for nodes to mobilize in such an environment. Although the Internet has introduced an ever-increasing amount of information to the fingertips of millions, it is confined to the limits of wired communication; long overdue, the next stage of this information, communication, and computation explosion will inevitably come with the deployment of Mobile ad hoc Networking—MANETs, impacting on every apparent aspect of life.

For the first time in my undergraduate studies, I was challenged to apply my acquired knowledge in computers towards solving a much bigger problem (i dont know how to make this work.) This has encouraged me to aspire a graduate degree, leading me to the Ronald McNair Scholar Post-Baccalaureate Achievement Program. Through the McNair Program, I took on a more independent study with Professor Richard Hanley, of the Philosophy department. I submitted my proposal on “The Aesthetics of Jazz” for the following summer, and although it seemed to be no more than a breadth experience to investigate my stretch of interests, as the project itself was revealed to me, I began to realize the tie between my passions of music and computers. I looked at Jazz through the eyes of a philosopher and collected the opinions from Jazz critics of all trades. This has led me to conclude that Jazz, more than mere music, is like a language of its own culture. My infatuation with Jazz is not that different from Computer Science. Jazz is a language of emotions, and similarly, Computer Science is the study of communicating logic—both are mediums for expression.

There’s so much more I want to investigate; in particular, I am interested in Dr. Michael Lewis’s work in Human-Agent Interactions and Game Engines in Research. I believe that adversity and experience build character; however, the realm of interaction is not exclusively person to person. Novels and movies trigger profound ideas and emotions, but so much is left for its audience to pursue. The uncharted possibilities of virtual reality would be a fruitful area of research, because of the intellectual taboo that overlooks video games.   This under-explored idiom can potentially express literary genius and cinematic masterpiece through the creative development of AI and VR.

I am just beginning to scratch the surface of the artificial intelligence anomaly, including my childhood infatuation with it. I don’t really know any better than the next person on whether or not the world needs to be changed, but I don’t believe that things have to be the way they are. With AI as my medium for inducing progress, I hope to develop a means for effectively communicating revolutionary ideas.

personal statement

2004-07-23T18:04:00.000-04:00

When I was a little girl, about 5 years old, my father brought home a Nintendo Entertainment System. I remember when I first fumbled with the RF switch and AC adapter; somehow, these cable connections allowed this machine to project itself from the cathode-ray-tube that sat in my living room, and through a sequence of buttons, I could immerse myself into another world, adventures and adversity that my imagination was not yet sophisticated enough to construct on its own. In addition, since I was not able to understand the science behind the stimuli, these virtual realities sparked a life-long curiosity on whether machine could intelligibly interact with man.
At that age, my means of interaction was not exclusively through spoken semantics. On top of juggling the languages of two cultures, I began to study the artistic expressions of music. The cognition of communication flourished in my early childhood, and although it seemed to be thoughtless leisure at the time, the 8-bit processor that ran in my living room began training me to understand the digital interaction with my analogue precision from my 7-pin controller. Through a meager collection of capacitors and resistors, my childhood pastime allowed me to see the world in ways that real life restricted, not that my actions did not yield consequences, but that I could always go back and discover the correct way of doing things.
As a Science and Engineering Scholar in summer 2003, through the UD Department of Computer Engineering, I worked in a team of programmers on a Mobil Ad Hoc Networking simulator for military operations. This was a project lead by Dr. Stephan Bohacek, and specifically, I was given the role of researching military operations, working with OpenGL to efficiently create a way of producing urban areas, and helping to determine a conventional way for nodes to mobilize in such an environment. Although, the Internet has introduced an ever-increasing amount of information to the fingertips of millions, it is confined to the limits of wired communication. Long overdue, the next stage of this information, communication, and computation explosion will inevitably come with the deployment of Mobile ad hoc Networking—MANETs, impacting on every apparent aspect of life. It was the central goal of this work to advance the performance of such wireless networks. For the first time in my undergraduate studies, I was challenged to apply my acquired knowledge in computers towards solving a much bigger problem.
This encouraged me to aspire towards a graduate degree, leading me to the Ronald McNair Scholar Post-Baccalaureate Achievement Program. Through the structure of the McNair Program, I took on a more independent study with Professor Richard Hanley, of the Philosophy department. I submitted my proposal on “The Aesthetics of Jazz” for the following summer, and although it seemed to be no more than a breadth experience to investigate my stretch of interests, as the project itself was revealed to me, I began to realize the tie between these two passions. I looked at Jazz through the eyes of a philosopher and collected the opinions from Jazz critics of all trades. This has led me to conclude that Jazz, more than mere music, is like a language of its own culture. My infatuation with Jazz is not that different from Computer Science. Jazz is a language of emotions, and similarly, Computer Science is the study of communicating logic—both are mediums for expression.
After these intense attempts of exploration, there’s so much more I want to investigate. In particular, I am interested in Dr. Michael Lewis’s work in Human-Agent Interactions and Game Engines in Research. I believe that adversity and experience build character; however, the realm of interaction is not exclusively person to person. Novels and movies trigger profound ideas and emotions, but so much is left for its audience to pursue. The uncharted possibilities of virtual reality would be a fruitful area of research, because of the intellectual taboo that overlooks video games.
Now, at the end of my 3rd year in college, I find myself just beginning to scratch the surface of the artificial intelligence anomaly, including my childhood infatuation with it. I don’t really know any better than the next person on whether or not the world needs to be changed, but I don’t believe that things have to be the way they are. There is much for me to contribute to the world around me, and I know that graduate school will bring me closer to finding out the kind of person who I am meant to become, with AI as my medium for inducing progress in composing human-agent interactions that build character.

arts and sciences

2004-07-22T16:20:00.000-04:00

Sheryl Chen – Issue Essay

"The objective of science is largely opposed to that of art; while science seeks to discover truths, art seeks to obscure them."

Science’s primary objective is to investigate truth; in contrast, art does not operate within the same parameters of logic. However, it is more a matter of whether science is in conflict of art, whether one is counterproductive to the other. Although both can be mutually exclusive in procedure, the arts and the sciences both operate on the basis of truth, and in fact, go hand in hand.

The entirety of truth can be abstracted into objective and subjective generalities. Science investigates the theories of irrefutable truths, while art expresses and reflects the subjectivity of the individual. Disregarding one’s study of statistical truth versus the other’s expression of emotivistic truth, both encapsulate ideas on the premise of truth.

Art preserves and communicates truth, while science uncovers and develops it. Whether it is the revolutionary ideas of a poet or the expressed emotions of a musician, art communicates the personal truths of its artist. It is a reflection of its creator the historical and cultural context and the response of its audience.

Science becomes an art once the communication of ideas is implemented, whether through jargon, nomenclature, diagrams, or the aesthetic presentation of its information. Similarly art becomes a science once it becomes investigated logically, mathematically, or even sociologically. One does not operate independent of the other, especially not in opposition.

vocab

2004-07-16T12:05:00.000-04:00

mendicant - beggar
florid - marked by emotional or sexual fervor, manifesting a complete and typical clinical syndrome
nexus - a connected group or series
lucid - clear to the understanding
squander - to spend extravagantly or foolishly
sanctimony - affected or hypocritical holiness
garner - something that is collected, accumulation
expiate - to put an end to
ruddy - having a healthy reddish color
pelt - a usually undressed skin with its hair, wool, or fur
mercurial - characterized by rapid and unpredictable changeableness of mood
expurgate - to cleanse of something morally harmful, offensive, or erroneous
quiescence - tranquil
gauche - lacking social experience or grace
burnish - to make shiny or lustrous especially by rubbing
mitigate - to make less severe or painful
ubiquitous - existing or being everywhere at the same time
erudite - learned
perfidy - the quality or state of being faithless or disloyal
lassitude - a condition of weariness or debility
obfiscate - to make obscure
pilliate - to cover by excuses and apologies
limpid - absolutely serene and untroubled
perfunctory - lacking in interest or enthusiasm
penury - severe poverty
petulant - insolent or rude in speech or behavior
vigor - active bodily or mental strength or force
benign - showing kindness and gentleness
exacerbate - to make more violent, bitter, or severe
fidelity - the quality or state of being faithful
opporbrium - something that brings disgrace
antithetical - marked by antithesis
salacious - arousing or appealing to sexual desire or imagination
hallow - to make holy or set apart for holy use
rubric - an authoritative rule
fulminate - to utter or send out with denunciation
rescind - repeal, take back
impetuous - marked by impulsive passion
vilify - to lower in estimation or importance

maybe i dont mind being me

2004-07-13T19:55:00.000-04:00

Cade: hey

Auto response from FF PaLaDiN UD: im tried of being different

Cade: at least you aren't boring
Cade: at least you don't do the same thing every day, day in, day out
Cade: at least people remember you, really remember you
Cade: at least you care about people :-)
Cade: at least you have to worry less about being sucked in to the easy malaise we all fall into where what is common is what is god
Cade: (which it isn't :-))
Cade: as unfair as it can seem, you're difference is here for a reason
Cade: what did Christ say about salt?
Cade: Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. (Matthew 5:11-12)
Cade: I know
Cade: it's hard
Cade: deep inside you just want it to be easy, to just skate through and be popular
Cade: but you're cut out for something deeper
Cade: it's like tea vs soda
Cade: soda is extremely sweet and tastes really good
Cade: but there's very little to it
Cade: and in the long run it'll rot your teeth
Cade: tea is kind of bitter
Cade: but is ultimately a much more satisfying drink
Cade: I know it is silly for me to lecture about how you should be happy to be different
Cade: but you have a courage I've never been able to muster without great consternation
Cade: I can barely find the ability to open my mouth when I think the Word should be defended to somebody
Cade: you air opinions that are extremely unpopular but you throw your whole weight behind them because you believe them
Cade: even if people give you shit
Cade: be glad you have that courage, I have a feeling that God will count your courage much higher than he will count my cowardice
Cade: the world needs you
Cade: God needs you to be you
Cade: without you, without that difference in the world, without that friction that originates with God, the world would never know him
Cade: *Him
Cade: Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. (Matthew 6:11-12)

Auto response from FF PaLaDiN UD: im tried of being different

Cade: if nothing else, at least this
Cade: As your life goes by, whereas most people kind of wander through with this inexplicable feeling, barely noticeable, that there is a hole, a vital peice missing
Cade: you won't have this problem
Cade: you'll have God, who persists through all time
Cade: when all pleasures and fun and notions fade, God will still be there
Cade: and at the end, when you face the Lord, you'll be able to sit with him in joy and peace
Cade: I hope I helped
Cade: nobody is without friends Sherol, there are many who love you just because you are you

millions of emails

2004-07-12T23:36:00.000-04:00

today i asked the questions of what is jazz to...

c murray
v james
m arenson
j foster
t groves
f weiss
t palmer
r tauber
p rinzler
t betz

i still need to contact...

m robinson
spaulding
dre
w oree

chris and dan's excellent adventure

2004-07-12T23:20:00.000-04:00

Date: Wed, 7 Jul 2004 17:21:18 -0400

Yee Haa!
We're in Johnson, Kansas right now staying at my aunt and uncle's house for
tonight and tomorrow. We've been having fun and our muscles are slowly getting
into shape. Kansas is beautiful. It's crazy. Eastern Kansas is not like what
you would imagine... it has hills and trees and lots of cattle. It's really
green (the locals say they've had an unusual amount of rain this year, which
we've had to ride through), and the sky is huge. Western Kansas IS what we'd
imagined. Totally flat, lots of wheat growing and lots of small, dancing
clouds. (EDIT(Chris): dancing clouds Daniel? I think he's getting a little to
poetic folks...sorry Daniel, but stick to science, jk ) For the past few days,
there hasn't been rain, and the sky is awesome
at night. Starting where we left off: We spent the night in on the Missouri
border with some college kids who we met at a Bible study at Pittsburg State
University. Back roads into Chanute, met a few cyclists who had gotten up to 53
mph coming down out of the Rockies. (Yahoo!) Head winds all the way to
Beaumont on hilly roads made us get only 65 miles the next day, when we had
meant to make 90. We struggled all that day and were exhausted at the end.
Providentially, there was a rest stop allowing camping, just as we had given up
cycling (we were walking up that hill, cause it was so hard to pedal against
the wind on tired muscles). [Interesting thing: often, it was easier to pedal
up the hill than down, because the hill blocked most of the wind while we were
on the leeward side. But we bore the full brunt of the wind on the downhill, so
it was harder.] We met some cool Kansans there who told us about milo (sorghum)
and the road conditions ahead. Then God brought some Christians to us while we
were sitting on the bench by the bathrooms. This large family was just getting
home from a vacation, and they gave us all their leftover food, including
chocolate bars!!! Then they tried to give us a Bible tract, but suprise!
(already know the info). We were invited to stay the night with them when we
arrived at their home in Wichita the next day.

We stayed at the rest stop for the night (on the side of a plateau, overlooking
a huge plain). A garganutan storm rolled in and blew all of our stuff around,
even lifting my sleeping bag off me so I had to jump up to catch it. We watched
the lightening for an hour until we were driven inside the bathroom by the
rain. AWESOME! The wind and colors were just what a Kansas thunderstorm sounds
like. No twister, though.

We showered and washed at our sunday school teacher's house (in Augusta) on
July
4, and had lunch with them and the pastor at Pizza HUT. Divine. Hooked up with
the rest stop family for an Indep. Day concert in Wichita, and then ate and
slept at their house, leaving in the early afternoon for Nickerson. That family
(parents, kids, grandkids) was so cool and inviting. They made us feel very at
home and one son gave Chris a CRKT (pocketknife). Home fireworks with them was
a great experience (though we didn't get to see a huge commercial display), as
we can't have them in DE. The dad (and grandfather) biked out with us for part
of the way, when we left. Much more stuff to talk about, but no time till we
get home at the end of the summer.

Met 4 bikers in Nickerson city park (our campout for the night), and then
stayed
up till 2am talking and then being herded by the sheriff into the local high
school girls' locker room / bomb shelter because of the huge storm that hit. We
didn't wake up till 9:30 (very late, compared to our usual 5-5:30), because of
the late night. But it was cool. We got picked up in Jetmore by my uncle, and
driven to their house in Johnson, where we are now. Kansas is the friendliest
state, by far, that we've been in. All drivers wave and give much room on the
road. Most people are more than friendly. Last night at Rozel, we camped in a
city park and two different sets of neighbors brought over bug spray and
barbeque dinner (one brought spray, one brought dinner) just because they had
seen us in the park.

Live it up!
Love, Daniel and Chris

Sat, 3 Jul 2004 19:36:26 -0400

2004-07-12T23:19:00.000-04:00

Sheryl,

Hey, its been a while. I'm still in Costa Rica, but I'll be back in about 2
weeks, so I'll try to get ahold of you then. Hope all is well with you, and
that you're getting to relax some this summer.

I know this sounds kinda cliched, but I wanted to say... God loves you,
specifically. He made Sheryl just how he wanted her to be, and she is really a
blessing to lots of other people, whether or not she realizes how much of an
impact she makes. You don't need to deny that. It's true.

Anyway, have a lovely summer. I have some ideas for adventures when I get back.
Hope you're up for going out and playing a little.

Much love,
Laura

great american adventure

2004-07-12T23:10:00.000-04:00

Date: Tue, 22 Jun 2004 14:23:15 -0400
Subject: Re:An Update

Hello All!
I know it's been a while, but here's another update.
We are currently in Hutchins Library, Berea College, Berea Kentucky. For
those
interested it's a little south of Lexington.
Well, we left UVA and stayed with our friend Neil that we met. Neal is very
into bicycling and rode with us to his house and then 20 or so miles the
next day. We stopped at the "Cookie Ladies" house in Afton Va, she has been
putting out refreshments and cookies for trans-America bikers since 76' i
believe. She is a wonderful woman and has a impressive bike museum that she has
put together from things that bikers have left her as gifts to thousands of
postcards, letters, and pictures that people have sent her. We had a few
miles of climbing to do up the mountain and were pooped at the top. Daniel had
broken several spokes earlier, and we were not able to fix the ones on his
back tire that were on the chain side, as we didn't have a big enough wrench.
So he rode 2.5 miles down the mountain to a bike shop and got his tire fixed.
Chris waited at the top of the mountain and chatted with Appalachian trail
hikers that were passing through ( the trans-America route and AT intersect at
that particular point ). Then we began to climb into the blue ridge mountains
on the aptly named Blue Ridge Parkway. It was starting to thunderstorm south
of us and as we began to climb we ended up pedaling through the clouds, it was
a beautiful and slightly surreal experience. We stopped at a hostel we had
heard about, it's run by a man named Rusty for mostly AT through hikers, but
it's open to bikers too. He has been doing this for 22 years on no income
but donations. He puts you up for the night in an old barn filled with bunks,
feeds you pancakes in the morning, and has a nice area for everyone to hang
out in. It's a real backwoods kinda place, I think he got electricity 2 weeks
before we got there. He is an amazing man and hopefully we will have a more
cohesive/comprehensive tale of our stay in Rusty's Hardtimes Hollow up soon.
The night we stayed, there was about 6 or so hikers, me and Daniel, another
biker from Montreal, and three guys on a Canoe trip staying there, it was very
cool. Over his 22 years doing this, I think he's had 18,000 or so hikers
come through his house/farm. He is a real man with a heart to serve.
After Rusty's it was onward and upward on the Parkway. We ended our time
on the parkway with a 4-5 mile descent into the valley with top speeds around
44 mph (yikes). It was very fun and very scary. Chris's knee's really began to
become a problem that afternoon, so after a stop at subway, we went on
towards Lexington Va. The next day, after camping on an old abandoned highway
that was overgrown, we headed of towards Natural Bridge, VA looking for a
Church, since it was Sunday. At the Natural Bridge Baptist Church we met Jim
and Shirley Earheart, who were interested in what we were doing and offered to
take us to their house for lunch. That morning Daniels mom (who is a nurse)
told us we needed to take a minimum of three-4 days of for Chris's knee, so we
were looking for a place to stay for 3 days. The Earhearts offered to let us
stay at their place for the night, and the pastor of the church had some land
that he said we could camp out on. We had a great time with Jim and Shirley,
Jim was a retired Aeronautical engineer turned ranch hand, who worked on the
Apollo moon missions back in the day. The next day we helped mow the grass and
check email. We decided since we were a day or two behind and looking at 3-4
more days of not moving we would call my Grandparents in Kentucky and see if
they could pick us up. In order to be able to make it to California in time we
thought it was necessary to do that. So, we got 270 miles in one night!
Our mothers thought that Chris should see a doctor and he recommended that
we take a few days off, and then step up the pace from 30 mile/day back to our
normal pace. It took several days for the cord to the digital camera to
arrive, and then we left on Saturday. We did 30 miles and ended up sleeping
behind an abandoned house off the road. We got up, after sleeping in for an
hour, and did 35 miles before church started. At church, we met a man named
Sam Brown who bought us lunch and offered to let us sleep on some land he
owned near Red River Gorge State Park. It was about 9 miles from the church so
we got 44 miles done Sunday. He came by latter that night with some watermelon,
cantaloupe, his 2 boys, daughter, and his niece. We feasted on melon and had a
good time with the Brown family, and we all drove into the state park so they
could show us some very impressive rock formations and vistas. All in all
another excellent day. The baptist church has proved to be nothing but friendly
and loving wherever we've been. I've been very impressed by their hospitality
and friendliness. The next morning we helped Sam mow the grass around his
cabin and he drive us 15 miles to natural bridge state park and showed us
around. We parted ways, and Daniel and I took an hour or two to hike around
the park and see the natural bridge. It's a great big arch of rock that's been
carved out by the wind or some sort of geological event and is REALLY cool. So
we headed south and west deeper into the hills of Kentucky and got another 30
some odd miles done, with 45 total for the day. We met a local farmer who let
us stay on his land for the night. We feasted on Chile, rice, and cheese, and
went to sleep. It started to rain during the night, and neither of us had our
rain fly's on the tent, but we were able to rush out and take care of business
before everything was soaked. That brings us to today, I'd say today
was one of the most scenic rides yet, maybe second to the Blue Ridge mountains.
We rolled through some beautiful valleys, surround by mountains on all sides
and peaceful farms and cow pastures. Best of all...a surprising low number of
hounds and mutts chasing us. The people of Kentucky seem to own an inordinate
number of baying, rabid mongrels that freely roam the country side chasing
bikers. But, besides the packs of dogs that we've encountered from time to
time Kentucky as been most enjoyable so far.
Sorry if this has been unorganized and rambling, but I just sat down and
emptied out a week and a half of memories that deserve much more time and
consideration, but I hope that this is a good overview of whats happened to
us. We hope to be out of Kentucky and Into Missouri in 4-5 days. Well, God
bless and hope to hear from you.
--Chris and Daniel

Wed, 7 Jul 2004 01:14:52 -0400

2004-07-12T14:52:00.000-04:00

"Sheryl, I know you are busy reading a lot, but I would like to recommend
something every student of expression should read. I believe it is crucial
to fully understand your concept of art in order to place things in a larger
picture. You may or may not have an internalized concept of what art feels
like, but a excellent piece of literature that explores the question of
defining art is a book called "The Principles of Art" by R.G. Collingwood. I
also realize your research is based around the question, "What is jazz?" But
I believe you have a passion and are an artist, so I think another question
that you should explore personally is "what is art?" because that is really
the goal of much of jazz. I feel this will help you keep a relatively
concrete topic in a larger perspective of the goal of all forms of
expression. I think that exploring this question might lead to much
different results than defining jazz in itself, as they are on a basic sense
completely different subjects. Okay sorry for the ranting. Your site is
very nice, I definitely dig and it seems that you are getting a lot of work
done this summer. I am also doing research so I can relate. talk to you
later."

Date: Mon, 21 Jun 2004 11:43:35 -0400

2004-07-12T14:46:00.000-04:00

"Hey Sherol, thought I'd send you an email to see how you have been. I am
going to have some time tomorrow to come and pick up some stuff from you
and talk around the evening after my lab lets say b/w 4 and midnite I am
free. SO let me know what works for you, I am glad that we are friends
b/c you are such a cool person!! If that didn't sound dorky, but its
true.... God has designed you in such a way to impact and desire to
impact people's lives in a positive manner whether or not they are
receptive to it and that is a gift. Do not let your pride get in the way
though of doing things even if they seem small or insignificant b/c those
little things need to be done too for the strengthening of the kingdom of
God, and always let God's glory be your driving push whether or
not people may see it/recongnize you or no. So now, ummm... I have been
having a good summer for the most part, lift me up in prayer when you get
the chance so that I may keep a GOd centered focus in life through my
relationships, and summer. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow so let
me know when we can get up aight... holla."

im racist against my own ethnicity

2004-07-11T01:26:00.000-04:00

Asian-American... I'm not Asian, and I'm not American; so, I must be the hyphen in-between. In another sense, I am both an immigrant and an American. Some would think that I shouldn't think so much about it and just be glad to be here, but I'll never be able to amalgamate the pros and cons into a reason of how or why. I'm not Asian enough to understand why my parents chose to come here, or what a foreigner must think of America, and I'm also not American enough to take being American for granted.

Ethnocentrism is just a fancy way of implying that someone doesn't know any better. America stands for something worthwhile; I hardly see Americans as an adequate portraiture. What's the point of being great, if you don't know why you possess greatness?

There are two kinds of immigrants: those whose visas and family well-being are contingent on their performance as a student in the U.S., and the other kind-- like my parents. I don't know what it mean's to be the "model minority." I just remember my parents taking the lowest paying jobs and never complaining about it. It doesn't seem like such a land of opportunity when you don't speak the language nor do you understand the culture. They made me take piano lessons, they made me play the violin, and they gave me homework in addition to my real homework. Perhaps it was for my opportunities that the came to America. The validity in that statement is nearly inconceivable...overwhelmingly inconceivable.

closure on this homo debate

2004-07-09T20:01:00.000-04:00

i feel like a horrible person for believing that homosexuality is a sin, like some ignorant savage. sometimes i wonder what the point of speaking my mind is, no one seems to understand what im trying to say. i usually take a fairly nuetral stand, but their arguments never seem to be well thoughtout, of course im going to find fault in them. and sometimes i feel like im just repeating myself over and over and over again....

the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak... this isnt a matter of whether the Bible is truth, this is under assumption that sin is sin. it doesnt seem likely that homosexuality is biological, but even if it werent a choice, it's not like i chose to be a sinner, it doesnt justify my sin.

as for equal rights for the oppressed....peope deny that right to NAMBLA, i guess i can see why, b/c both parties are not equally autonomous, but since the children must be protected, I believe that unborn fetuses should be as well, and if their extreme lack of automata denies them that protection, then NAMBLA should cease to be oppressed for their love crusade

im tired of this issue, but i feel like i have now completely exausted it...

u pitt personal statement

2004-07-09T19:22:00.000-04:00

When I was a little girl, about 5 years old, my father brought home a Nintendo Entertainment System—back then they cost $199. I remember when I first fumbled with the RF switch and AC adapter. Somehow, these cable connections allowed this machine to project itself from the cathode-ray-tube that sat in my living room, and through a sequence of buttons, I could immerse myself into another world, adventures and adversity that my imagination was not yet sophisticated enough to construct on its own.

Even at that age, dialects were not my only medium of communication. On top of juggling the languages of two cultures, I began studying an additional means of expression—music. The cognition of language and the pedagogy of semantics were copious in my early childhood, and although it seemed to be thoughtless leisure at the time, the 8-bit processor that ran in my living room began training me to understand the digital interaction with my analogue precision from my 7-pin controller. Through a meager collection of capacitors and resistors, my childhood pastime allowed me to see the world in ways that real life restricted, not that my actions did not yield consequences, but that I could always go back and discover the correct way of doing things.

As a Science and Engineering Scholar, summer 2003, through the UD College of Computer Engineering, I worked in a team of programmers on a Mobil Ad Hoc Networking simulator for Military operations. This was a project lead by Dr. Stephan Bohacek, and specifically, I was given the role of researching military operations, working with OpenGL to efficiently create a way of producing urban areas, and helping to determine a conventional way for nodes to mobilize in such an environment. The Internet has introduced an ever-increasing amount of information to the fingertips of millions, although confined to the limits of wired communication. Long overdue, the next stage of this information, communication, and computation explosion will inevitably come with the deployment of Mobile ad hoc Networking—MANETs, impacting on every apparent aspect of life. It was the central goal of this work to advance the performance of such wireless networks.

For the first time in my undergraduate studies, I was challenged to apply my acquired knowledge in computers towards solving a much bigger problem. Significantly, it showed me a new level of motivation when taking on a project of my own, while having to cooperate with a team of more experienced researchers. The amount of mentoring I received as a Science and Engineering Scholar was priceless.

This encouraged me to aspire towards a graduate degree, leading me to the McNair Scholar Achievement Program. Through the structure of the McNair Program, I took on a more independent study with Professor Richard Hanley, of the Philosophy department. I submitted my proposal on “The aesthetics of Jazz” for the following summer, and although it seemed to be no more than a breadth experience to investigate my stretch of interests, as the project itself was revealed to me, I began to realize the tie between these two passions. I looked at Jazz through the eyes of a philosopher and collected the opinions from Jazz critics of all trades. This has led me to conclude that Jazz, more than mere music, is a language of its own culture. My infatuation with Jazz is not that different from Computer Science. Jazz is a language of emotions, and similarly, Computer Science is the study of communicating logic—both are mediums for expression.

After these intense attempts of exploration, there’s so much more I want to investigate. In particular, I am interested in Dr. Michael Lewis’s work with Controlling Robot/Agent/ Human teams for Urban Search & Rescue. The virtual test domains, especially, will provide opportunities for me to understand Artificial Intelligence and its ties to Humans and Technology.

Now, at the end of my 3rd year in college, I find myself just beginning to scratch the surface of the artificial intelligence anomaly, including my childhood infatuation with it. I don’t really know any better than the next person on whether or not the world needs to be changed, but I don’t believe that things have to be the way they are. There is much for me to contribute to the world around me, and I know that graduate school will bring me closer to finding out the kind of person who I am meant to become, with AI as my medium for inducing progress.

notes

2004-07-09T18:48:00.000-04:00

politician said, video games don't deserve freedome of speech b/c they don't say anything worthwhile.

eureka!!!

2004-07-09T08:19:00.000-04:00

i have found an answer!!!...(its on my main website somewhere) ^_^

i need to get in contact with these people...
vernon james
mark robinson
paul rinzler
spaulding
mike arenson
mike foster
ruth tauber
todd groves
tina betz
warren oree
jazz poet
andre
charlie murry
jamie newitt

tweedy & bohacek

things i need to do...
acad plan
cv
review
lib book
amazon pack
camera ret

the 20% majority

2004-07-07T06:27:00.000-04:00

I would hardly think that 2 out of the 10 commandments represent the legislative moral obligation of our government.

When was the last time someone got arrested for...

#1 worshipping buddha
#2 saying, "oh, my god."
#3 really really really wanting a new car
#4 working on a Sunday
#5 talking back to parents
#7 looking at porn
#9 starting a childish rumor
#10 wanting someone else's bling (covetting, not stealing)

you were correct about #6 and #8 though, murder and stealing.

When you are speaking about the commandments you fail to realize that half of them pertain to one's relationship with God. I don't really see how one would enforce those. The Pharisees even tried to relegate Jesus with the Laws, b/c they wanted to see him slip.

Matthew 15:1-20

Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, "Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don't wash their hands before they eat!"

Jesus replied, "And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, 'Honor your father and mother' and 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,' he is not to 'honor his father' with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you:
" 'These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
their teachings are but rules taught by men.'"
Jesus called the crowd to him and said, "Listen and understand. What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.' "
Then the disciples came to him and asked, "Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?"
He replied, "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. Leave them; they are blind guides. If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit."
Peter said, "Explain the parable to us."
"Are you still so dull?" Jesus asked them. "Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.'"

99 bottles of beer on the wall

2004-07-07T06:25:00.000-04:00

You can also say that a homosexual who cannot help his/her homosexual actions is like an alcoholic who cannot help having another beer.

The difference being that homosexuality is not considered a "disease," especially since scientists don't seem to be able to find that biological tie that explains the nature of it-- not saying that it would be if it did, but you get my point.

Try searching in Google for "Alcoholism Gene" versus "Homosexual Gene" and check the first few results of each search.

bring it onnn!!!

2004-07-07T06:24:00.000-04:00

:)

I hope people don't associate those of us who do consider homosexuality as sin to be anti-homosexuals, moreso anti-homosexuality. Having lived with freshmen since I was a freshman, I also have a low opinion of drunkeness (ouch, I know.) I'm not more of a human nor am I a better person for being sober all the time, than I am being heterosexual.

The very topic of homosexuality was a catalyst in my questioning of what I truly believed in high school, and forced me to reevaluate my faith. I've given this much thought for years, so I assure you that my beliefs are not founded soley b/c I'm "Christian" and that's what I was conditioned to believe. I was not raised in a traditional Christian home; infact, I was raised Buddhist.

To assume that b/c my views are "oppressive," I am not close with any *real* homosexuals is incorrect. I've been to Haven meetings, was fairly good friends with one of the past presidents, and very good friends with one of her ex-girlfriends. My best friend in high school was a homosexual male, and continued to be my close friend in spite of his sexual orientation. I can't even remember all those times that I've inquired about their lifestyles, or the number of times I've thought to myself: "how can I tell this person that they are wrong, when they've fought so hard to be who they are now?"

I'm a person who clearly has major identity issues-- social, cultural, religious, AND GENDER. I can confidently say that I am a heterosexual woman, but I have no concept of what it means to live as these labels in American society (and you wonder why I'm so confused all the time.) My point being that although you've probably read 700000 of my words, you have no concept of who I am, until you know where I'm coming from.

Most people have struggled with homosexuality at some point in their lives, very few adopt the lifestyle, and even fewer speak of those struggles. I struggle with it just like I would struggle with pride, or lust, or materialism. It doesn't mean that I'm suppressing my true (in-the-closet) self, b/c I'm perpetually questioning whether or not I'm being Fo'ReaL. The very statement that I've had a homosexual thought before assumes that maybe I'm gay. My response to that is: I could care less if people think I'm gay, b/c who I am is independent of what other people think. The majority of Christians can't handle that; it's easier for them to seem perfect that to appear sinful.

I've concluded that homosexuality is sin, in collaboration with what I've read in books, talking to scholars who've devoted much of their careers to this topic, talking to pastors, reading articles, and, most importantly, reading the Bible. I also believe that we are free to chose to live how we like, and we can only be held responsible, as people, for actions against other people. As Christians, however, we are accountable for each other's actions against God.

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." Romans 13:8

...and in the end, I am a sinner, no better than any other.

^_^

(a bit too personal? probably...LOL, it's not like I have anything to hide, AND this is a good attempt at self reflection and a core-dump of thoughts)

LOL

2004-07-06T23:05:00.001-04:00

It's quite amusing to see how much people read into one statement. The author of that article cleverly takes one sentence out of a whole sermon completely out of context, and successfullly manipulates his audience towards his bias views of a Christian man (and perhaps even Christians in general.)

If you've ever sat through a charismatic service, you could not deny the amount of intensity and passion that a preacher integrates into his message. He's trying to speak to the hearts of his congregation, and more likely to be boldly out of love than to fertilize hatred.

People are to judge this reverend based off of one instance of his message as a hateful homophobe, and at the same time castigating him for being judgemental. Hating on hate does not end hate, especially if the alleged hate is insubstantial.

I'm not saying he went about the best means of presenting his message. If anything that this man is guilty of, it is the controversy in the words he chose to use. I'm saying that we should thouroughly think through this man's intentions rather than hastily adopting the opinions of the author of the original article in how he is trying to portray the church.(whether intentionally or not.)

If a black preacher merely said that he was against gay marriage than no one would think. Everyone would just overlook the whole issue, b/c it is jaded. This is what things have come down to. It sucks, I know.

sin is sin

2004-07-06T01:03:00.000-04:00

http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0421/boykin.php

Through deductive reasoning...

All Christians are sinners.
Sinners are not perfect.
Christians are not perfect.

"I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me." - God

First, I'd like to clarify that many people can claim to be Christian, but that alone does not aver their relationship with Christ; in fact, no one can bolster their Christianity without first acknowledging the castigation from their own sin.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" - Jesus

This isn't a matter of political freedom, because legislation will never obliterate sin. In the end, it is not through works that gets you into heaven, but by faith. Those precepts of doctrine have been established from the Word, but it was never up to our government to enforce them. It is the convictions of our own hearts and love for our neighbors that hold us accountable for these actions.

"If the KKK opposes gay marriage, I would ride with them." - Rev. Gregory Daniels

Whether or not Rev. Gregory Daniels speaks out of love is between him, God, and those who feel accountable for him through love. This man is just boldly making a point in a world where pluralism has infected society with not having to be liable for the lifestyles we choose to live.

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

God gave us the freedom to choose life or death, and our nation gives us the freedom to have our own opinions. If you are satisfied with the way you are, then it shouldn’t matter what other people think, and if others persecute you for that, then you should forgive them. If you can’t do that, then you must not be as satisfied as you thought.

We hardly know why we do anything anymore-- a world motivated by *emotivism.*

Allow me to explain what I actually meant.

+ if you are satisfied with the way you are, it shouldn't matter what others think.

The way you are shouldn't matter if you are satisfied with it, regardless of what other people think. This does NOT mean that if you are satisfied with the way you are, then other people can't affect the way you are able to live your life. If you can't stand to be challenged for what you stand for, then you must not be as steadfast (or "satisfied") as you thought. My point was explicitly in the closing statement, "We hardly know why we do anything anymore-- a world motivated by *emotivism.*"

My entry also stated:

+ This isn't a matter of political freedom, because legislation will never obliterate sin... Those precepts of doctrine have been established from the Word, but it was never up to our government to enforce them.

I can still believe that it is a sin to engage in homosexuality, and also believe that people have the freedom to choose to live that way. God gave us that choice, it's not for me to take away.

Political correctness can kiss my ass

2004-07-06T01:00:00.000-04:00

My family is racist and they raised me in their ignorance. If a man walks alone in the dark, it will occur to every passing female that he is a potential rapist. When a tree falls and no one hears it, it doesn't make a sound.

The tree still falls, but no one knows about it; that's what political correctness has done to our nation. Hiding our prejudice doesn't make it go away.

...just the other side of the coin.

What we believe delineates who we are, regardless of whether we are the oppressor or the oppressed.

drunk people + fireworks = funny

2004-07-05T00:41:00.000-04:00

/******************************************/

Auto response from FF PaLaDiN UD: anyone want to go see fireworks with me...let me know before 8:30 pm

or else...i guess it will be a solo adventure...;-)

/******************************************/

-----------------------------

i practiced sax, went home, went to church, sunday school was pretty cool, went back home to pick up some fruit, went back to dorm to grab whoever to go see fireworks.

...and the magical spot this year was the.....BIG PILE OF DIRT...aka the reservoir

(the past 2 years were, field house, perkins PG)

-----------------------------

here's a recap of my first visit to mt. newark (reservior)

1/14/04....

/******************************************/

"last night i climbed up a big pile of dirt....and i learned something cool...

stars make me smile...:-D

it was like standing on another planet...and watching the street lights change into sky..

it was so cool..that it didnt even seem that cold to me....perfect sky...perfect moment.....and i really needed it too...

i smiled the whole way home...enveloped in jazz...

it reminded me that sometimes its great not to be normal....:-D"

/******************************************/

-----------------------------

anyhoo, i stopped at kmart to get toothpaste and a disposable camera (didnt end up using it though, pictures are overrated.) i got one of those reach flossers and i flossed all the way up the mound of dirt. i was the only one there initially, and i got there right when the works started flaring. it was the first time the sun was high enough for me to read the "no tresspassing sign"...lol. i didn't expect to see what i saw-- all around me were fireworks, some from pretty far away, it seemed. surround sound popping and whistling.

not too long, some drunk people came up with *their fireworks. it was entertaining to watch them fumble around with the fire and sparks. the insults were pretty funny too, at the same time it did kind of ruin the moment. eventually the field house fireworks started up and it was a great view. if the flares flew high enough you could actually see where it cut into the clouds.

i met one of the drunks, and we actually had pretty good conversation. he invited me to go drinking with him later, and told me a bit about his degree and what he was doing around newark (he's moving to minnesota in a few days for a job.) i told him about my dreams of making profound video games. he asked me why i was there by myself, and i just said that i didnt feel like being at a spot where there would be lots of people (and LOTS of traffic...the field house...lol.) he was very nice (his name was either tim or dan,) he even offerred me a yuengling, but after the show i disapeared and came back to my room.

the guy told me about the failure that the reservoir actually was, and we both agreed that we were glad it was there (for the sake of the spot.) imagine all the people who drive by it, but never venture atop.

i came back to my room and read this message

/******************************************/

someone: just wanted to say i really like how you are so independent- i wish more girls were like you
someone: more people even

/******************************************/

-----------------------------

it was quite an adventure, reminding me of the PPG last year. my lil sister and her muddy feet.

this was written july 4th last year...

/******************************************/

"a tight group of friends...with countless adventures to share..u think im just joking...but it would be a dream come true...

i want to be able to start sprinting towards irrational impulse....(the kind that u cant stop to think about)...and not have to look back to see if ive left my friends behind...b/c id know they're running right along side with me....theyd feel it too...:-)...

...i think only then will i have finally found my place among people...."

/******************************************/

i ran accross the beach, just as the show was about to start. i didnt even look back to see if pete and the chinese posse were behind me. apparently, my little sister was the only one follow in my irrational impulse. i couldnt have even described my energy that night. atop the PPG i ran into justin and some of his friends, got invited to a party that year as well....eh, didnt go that time either...

:)

funnnnn...

Jazz Fest Finale

2004-07-05T00:24:00.000-04:00

Friday night was pretty spontaneous, i ended up leaving the show about 10:00 to go check out a jam session that i vernon took me to.

vernon seemed to have all inside connections, within the ballroom of the baby grand. there were a lot of professional musicians there just jamming to the standards. ANNND there was free food. ^_^

it seemed particularly exclusive, and i did feel kind of odd being there. there was some group collecting money for a clifford brown statue. i donated $4 (it was all i had.) this would be a cool story to tell though, one day-- that i contributed $4 to the clifford brown statue somewhere in wilmington.

i met a christian drummer there, we talked a lot. he really wanted to know where he could get daily breads, so i ripped off a page that had the website. i recognized a few of the guys there from IAJE.

--------------------

Saturday, i rolled up before the sacred concert encore. i ran into vernon and his family and tom as well. i took a nice long nap on the steps of rodney square. i found brian and andrew chillin in their lawn chairs right before regina carter. people were booing the concert b/c of sound issues, but that was eventually cleared. regina carter wasn't as thin as her photo made her look. i spent the rest of the concert behind stage sitting on a cement block.

--------------------

Sunday, i was originally going to meet up with tim kim (he's thinking about an Asian christian fellowship, and i am all about that.) instead, i met up with andrew at the chinese fest (there was no way i was going to pay for parking, so we didnt stay.) we went right to the jazz fest at winterthur, the volunteer passes got us in for free. although, we tried to sneak away and got stopped by the golf cart patrol.

winterthur has the ugliest grass for a place that makes so much money, especially since they wont allow outside vendors. ($5 for a cheese burger, heck no.) i studied my GREs, lol. this guy kept on walking back and forth, who looked very familiar, turns out it was jack from U of Funk. man, he looked good playin that guitar. woooot! later that day justin manno came down to say hi, (recognized my "rogue" hair.)

cassandra wilson had a deeper voice than i anticipated. her songs were quite boring, and didn't sound much like jazz. professor foster noted that it was more of a folk feel. the afro-latin group was pretty hip though, especially that female alto player.

--------------------

thats it for the jazz fest, i still need to meet up with tina...i'll send her an email in a few days...

:)

TMTN

2004-07-04T00:54:00.000-04:00

what is wrong with me..lol?

its quiet here...or maybe im just out of it...(thats not a good or a bad
thing)

im not good at answering vague questions...(i'm almost always ok)

i made pancakes today..

nee cee is at home...which is nice...b/c im so use to having my own
room...and im just chilling out

i practiced my saxophone...when i played for my instructor last thursday
he was really impressed...he said that my improvement from one semester is
like night and day...(which doesnt say much...b/c im not very good)...im
really going to try and practice everyday though

when i was little i use to write this story for a video game in my
head...i hadnt given it any thought in a really long time....but recently
its all i seem to be thinking about...

two things i wish i could do....skate board...and tap dance..

Graduate schools

2004-07-02T16:59:00.000-04:00

JHU, CMU, Ucolorado, UWashington, USC, Upenn, Rice, Dartmouth, UCSB, UDel, RIT, UCLA

vocab

2004-07-02T11:20:00.000-04:00

reconnoiter - to engage in a preliminary survey to gain information
reconnaissance - a preliminary survey to gain information
abrogate - to abolish by authoritative action
obtuse - lacking sharpness of intellect; not clear or precise in thought or expression
precept - a command or principle intended especially as a general rule of action
impecunious - lacking funds; without money
contiguous - being in actual contact : touching along a boundary or at a point
epithet - a characterizing word or phrase accompanying or occurring in place of the name of a person or thing
philistine - a person who is guided by materialism and is usually disdainful of intellectual or artistic values; one uninformed in a special area of knowledge
boor - peasant; a rude or insensitive person
churlish - marked by a lack of civility or graciousness; surly
ostentatious - characterized by or given to pretentiousness
pretension - an allegation of doubtful value
discordant - conflicting; dissonant or harsh in sound
chary - wary; cautious
extant - archaic; currently or actually existing
egress - a place or means of going out; exit
ephemeral - brief; fleeting
connoissuer - an informed and astute judge in matters of test; expert
commensurate - equal in measure or extent
ardous - requiring significant effort
abjure - abstain from
diatribe - a harsh denunciation
dilettant - one with an amateurish or superficial interest in the arts or a branch of knowledge
dulcet - generally pleasing or agreeable
encomium - glowing and warmly enthusiastic praise
enduring - to undergo (as a hardship) especially without giving in
empirical - based on observation or experiement
canon - an established set of principles or code of laws, often religious in nature
plumb - in a direct manner
forestall - to exclude, hinder, or prevent by prior occupation or measures
succor - something that furnishes relief
peruse - to examine with great care
exhort - to give warnings or advice
appeal - the power of arousing a sympathetic response
inherent - involved in the constitution or essential character of something; belonging by nature or habit
broach - to open up (a subject) for discussion
innocuous - harmless; causing no damage
convention - a generally agreed upon practice or attitude
picaresque - of or relating to rogues or rascals
rogue - a mischievous person
superfluous - exceeding what is sufficient or necessary
effrontery - extreme boldness; presumptuousness
recalcitrant - obstinately defiant of authority; difficult to manage
table - to place on the agenda
rebus - a representation of words or syllables by pictures of objects or by symbols whose names resemble the intended words or syllables in sound
implacable - not capable of being appeased or signigicantly changed

SOLDIER

2004-07-02T10:56:00.000-04:00

I often wonder what it must be like to put your life on the line for a cause that you don't understand. In addition to a physical death, I remember (in Fahrenheit 9/11) a soldier said that a part of you dies when you kill another human being.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

There are people across seas dying for me. God bless America.

that's just silly

2004-07-02T10:55:00.000-04:00

Freedom, of any sort, is not a by-product of reckless behavior and in any case, without discipline, is no more than an illusion. If the only means to satisfy your desires are through the destruction, injury, and death of the world around you, I hardly see accountability for those you live amongst. My point being, politics do not apply to one individual; rather, it is an interpersonal influence and consideration of all people.

Political freedom, in itself, is an oxymoron. What good is a government that does not set boundaries? The whole point is that we cannot always do what we want to. Boundaries are necessary as guidelines to orient ourselves, and without them we are trapped walking aimlessly in the dark. Nevertheless, freedom, in such a context, must first be established through diplomacy, not fear-- through discipline, not force.

Philanthropy versus Altruism

2004-07-02T10:54:00.000-04:00

"Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion."

At one point in my life, I believed philanthropists to be altruistic. The older I get, the harder I find that to be the case.

money = (evil)^(1/2)

2004-07-02T10:53:00.000-04:00

"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil."

The abated passion for knowledge has become a meager means for money. It isn't a matter of whether intellectual property should be protected-- by all means, give credit where credit is due; however, the incentive of our culture is that money is the main priority above all else. When I 'sponsor' an AIDs walk, I'm not trying to fund the motivation of the researchers.

The approbation of making profit proves my point. What is more important to our culture, that we have the opportunity to live cushy $50,000 lives this year, or that 11 million people have the opportunity to live? But then again, since money is our incentive to live, it appears we’ve encountered a catch 22. I pray that I grow to live my life aberrant from society’s accolade towards hedonism, because you cannot deny the cheapened value of other lives when the comfort of our own is at stake.

vocab

2004-06-28T22:47:00.000-04:00

didactic - intended to teach or instruct
perspicacious - acutely perceptive, keen discernment
coda - something that serves to round out, conclude, or summarize
libertine - a freethinker especially in religious matters
endemic - characteristic of or often found in a particular locality, region, or people
luminous - characterized by brightness and the emission of light
exile - the state or a period of forced absence from one's country or home
pariah - outcast
importune - solicit persistently or troublesomely
elegy - a mournful poem, especially lamenting the dead
intrepid - steadfast and courageous
distrait - apprehensively divided or withdrawn in attention
dearth - smallness in quality or number; scarcity; a lack
audacious - daring and fearless; recklessly bold
aberrant - deviant from the norm
fallow - dormant, inactive
demure - to question or oppose
divulge - to disclose something secret
contentious - argumentative
adroit - having or showing skill, cleverness, or resourcefulness in handling situations
accolade - an expression of praise
castigation - severe criticism or punishment
craven - cowardly
chimera - an illusion or fabrication of the mind; especially : an unrealizable dream
omen - an occurrence or phenomenon believed to portend a future event
blithe - of a happy lighthearted character or disposition
malleable - having a capacity for adaptive change
supine - exhibiting indolent or apathetic inertia or passivity; especially : mentally or morally slack
augury - omen
voracious - having a huge appetite
intractable - not easily managed or directed; stubborn, obstinate
axiomatic - a universally recognized principle, taken as a given, posessing self evident truth
itinerant- traveling from place to place
errant - moving about aimlessly or irregularly
indolent - averse to activity, effort, or movement : habitually lazy
plastic - capable of adapting to varying conditions
rapacious - excessively grasping or covetous
obdurate - stubbornly persistent in wrongdoing
insouciant - lighthearted unconcern

BBVD

2004-06-26T04:37:00.000-04:00

tuesday - to rain or not to rain
+ discussion group on existentialism
+ boring research ethics class
(deontology & the catagorical imperative)
+ i left early but didnt end up going to the jazz fest, b/c of the thunder and lightening.
+ went to pathmark with lewis
+ watched basket ball game with kev and jade (got no reading done that night)
+ i got to know jared, very fun to be around :)

wednesday - taco day
+ ran errands throughout the day
+ brought in 3 quarts of rice
+ cooked the beef taco meet
+ saved a cup of drained fat (yummm)
+ got yelled at for eating the cheese and sprinkling salt on the ground
+ just enough food for everyone
+ later that night, discussed current events..REAGAN!!!
+ wow, the hot seat
+ i drove around looking for lewis, b/c of communication mishap
+ i drove down to watch the vibe masters and ahmad jamal.
+ jazz cats are soooo cool, although the general audience would not have appreciated ahmad's piano virtuosity in comparason to the stage presence of big bad voodoo daddy
+ i told ahmad that it was so strange reading about him in my history book and then seeing him in person
+ i got to put away the water, and explored the dupont theatre a bit on the way back

thursday - BBVD
+ no meeting with maria
+ i interviewed my professor for the 'plan b' excersize
+ i lost his business card (i should probably ask him for another)
+ i plan on 2 more 'plan b's (tweedy & betz)
+ applying to graduate school is a tedius process
+ i met with lewis at the BBQ (along with jared)
+ checked out BBVD with lew
+ met up with some other UD researchers/jazz catz
+ it got postponed after the first 3 songs
+ my lil brother (ming jay) and lewis stayed around)
+ we got to meet the drummer (for like an hour), who reminded me of my prof (about the same age too)
+ we talked about how they started out, and his musical training (as a punk drummer)
+ he highly recommended the new orleans jazz fest
+ he mentioned how great it was to tour 200 days a year with a group of his best friends
+ the rain stopped, the band was out talking to the fans
+ we talked to the bassist (also a nice guy)
+ the show started, we stood at the very front
+ each song seemed pretty similar, a rock/swing feel with leading vocals
+ seemed to attract an audience of all ages
+ lew and ming jay liked it
+ i instigated conversation between mj and the pianist
+ i got to speak with the saxophone player
+ two girls were waiting for his autograph, lew later commented that they wanted to sleep with him
+ we took some stuff back from the tent to the prod office
+ went to get grottos and then see the prof
+ during the postponement i talked about (more than i should have the interview with my prof)
+ lewis commented that prof b had peter pan syndrom
+ ming jay still feels bad for switching projects
+ my left eye turned red (ouch)
+ i was too informal with my prof
+ i took lew home
+ i sat in the car with ming jay and talked
+ john came back drunk
+ ming jay told me to go and get rest b/c i was falling asleep in the car

Tha Buddha speaks

2004-06-16T15:11:00.000-04:00

/*****************************/
Buddha, I don't know who you are, but I respect your fervor in your argument, however, I think it has holes.

When you try to clarify the "vague notion of individuality" you say people have the right to chose and chose to be the same. I think you fail to realize that is a choice to remain the same. Maybe things are not as bad as you seem to emphasize if people are willing to change. History has shown, through political rebellion, that people are willing to chose change when they feel necessary. If you are unhappy with the lack of individuality, what are you doing to change that? I am sure you find yourself fitting into the crowd and not fully expressing your individuality.

Then you go on with "'imaginary principle of freedom' - We are trapped in the rules of some game that society has bound us to, yet we pretend to be in control of our own destiny." According to your argument, society controls the rules of the game, and we are the people who make up society so, again what are you doing to change the rules. People can vote, run for office, read and gather information. This applies to all levels, so unless you are the president of some politically based organization, on campus, locally, state-wide, or nationally? We chose those people who make the rules.

The idea of following the crowd is in our nature. People do not want to be isolated from the majority because humans are naturally social. As I mentioned, everyone conforms to the norms somewhat, I know I do, especially if I agree with the norm.

/*****************************/

I understand what you are saying, but complacency is just an excuse to stay the same. I believe we've lost our handle on freedom, because we have been free for so long.

I could give a lot of examples, but I'll just deliver two.

+ We have this amazingly instant communication arena and information database, and the most popular subject searched for over the internet is porn. That should say a lot about the quality of modern man/woman.

+ Look at the number of eating disorders just on our campus. Men and women binge and purge or starve themselves out of their desire to 'be social.' Is it their right as Americans to choose this lifestyle? Or, are they caught in the rules of society? Free or trapped?

You're right, we are in control of the rules; however, it seems as if the rules control us just as much-- we (including me) are caught in this infinite loop that is perpetuated by our complacency, but at least I can admit it to myself and try to absolve it.

the CBJF

2004-06-16T12:50:00.000-04:00

i went to church on sunday, then i went to the sacred concert and watched a spectacular performance (with featured my big band director, tom palmer, combo director, vernon james, and sax instructor, todd groves.) i went with my friend parag after church.

i got soooo pumped, and the performance was really intense (full of energy.) the duke ellington sacred concert had a great emphasis on freedom, equality, and spirituality. At times humorous, it included singing and tap dancing, along with a full big band, intermixing an opera feel in the vocals.

monday i met with maria, and then ate with lewis, as we discussed bling bling. later that day i took my GREs (i got a 480 in verbal and an 800 in math.) lewis and i met up to go to the CBJF

i have no idea what i was doing or what would happen, but to make a long story short, we got to see a navy big band, and i explained the basics of jazz to lewis. we move boxes of water to the musician tent. and when it poured we got to stay in the tent and talked with the musicians.

i met a jazz photographer, Kenny Bond, he said that hes seen me there for the past couple of years always sittin in the front of the stage. (he's been photographing the CBJF for 10 years.) he told me to give him a call if i ever get anything going in Newark (even if it's really small.

I gave a message to Winston Byrd from Vernon James. From Byrds mouth, "Vernon is a fucking great musician." it was really cool watching the musicians interact with one another (T.S. monk looks a lot like his dad.) A saxophone player, patience higgins, gave us his card and told us to give him a call sometime, he'd get us tickets for a performance. kenny bond, the photographer, said that jazz musicians are definately the most cool of all the people he photographs.

tuesday we had a pretty sucky discussion in my group, but i'll talk about tuesday later.

tonight im going to see ahmad jamal. later.

something quite contrary

2004-06-15T15:58:00.000-04:00

"Scholars recognize certain elements of history, such as its ability to prepare us for the future by providing us with lessons from the past, and its tendency to repeat itself. Perpetuating historical arguments allows us, as well as future generations, to avoid repeating historical shortcomings, providing us with the tools necessary to aggressively and successfully assault future dilemmas."

A bit verbose, but let me see if I understand. In other words, history repeats itself; therefore, we must understand the mistakes of the past in order to prevent them in the future. This is a lesson that goes without saying.

In my initial post, I distinctly differentiate between investigating truth and arguing over inane politics. I would conclude that "perpetuating historical arguments" would correlate more with the former. There is a fine line that separates learning from your mistakes and dwelling on them. My claim is that too many people read an article (or two), some book, or sees something on the news which *enlightens* them, and all of a sudden they are an expert even though all they see is one side of an issue, "fighting for causes that they have no bearing over." (I apologize for being redundant.)

I apologize for the careless grammatical mistakes of the former post. In addition, I failed to read your opening carefully and missed the sarcastic slam.

So in rebuttal to that statement, it is ignorance that forces understanding upon an issue without knowledge. And although ignorance is bliss, change cannot occur amongst fools.

I do not understand the democratic process; my knowledge does not suffice. Enlighten me, please.

/****************************************/

"Let us recognize how fortunate we are that advocates of civil rights, among others, lack your understanding of democratic processes."

Yes, my generation (including me) lacks an understanding of the democratic process. I've never had a reason to traverse the government hierarchy, and therefore, my fight has yet to go beyond the micro-level, collegiate politics which envelopes me. This doesn't mean that I'm not fighting.

I think your romanticized idea of America has made you a bit defensive, but allow me to clarify.

"vague notion of individuality" - We have the freedom to choose, and yet we choose to be the exact same.

"imaginary principle of freedom" - We are trapped in the rules of some game that society has bound us to, yet we pretend to be in control of our own destiny.

"fighting for causes that they have no bearing over" - the assertions of the former imply that we are not followers of our dreams, but followers of the crowd, fighting for causes that we have no bearing over.

I am not taking for granted what America represents, but unfortunately, the *people* of America represent something quite contrary.

peacemakers

2004-06-15T10:48:00.000-04:00

verse of the day:

Blessed are the preacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God. matt 5:9

reading of the day: 1 sam 25:14-35

its interesting to see the role that Godly women play in scripture, and also encouraging to know that even the most blessed of God's annointed ones are still sinners and fall short of the glory.

jackie's groove thing

2004-06-14T03:34:00.000-04:00

i went to the jazz fest solo. parking a few blocks away from the theater-N. i got hit on twice on the way down there (it really creeped me out.) i eventually move my car right infront of the building

i showerd before the event and dressed nicely (with tall shoes and all.) i walked upstairs and asked for tina bets-- the director for cultural affairs. here was her description:

"I'm a fairly tall, and I hate to admit, middle-aged Black woman
sporting natural hair. See you there."
TinaB

i talked to her and met another lady. tina gave me the idea that id be working with the performers, the other lady needed me with merchandise. (i guess i'll be selling t-shirts.) oh well, i'll make the best of things and learn what i can.

the performance was amazing (there was footage of some thelonius monk documentary in the background...later, a poet gave a performance on monk.) i never really appreciated the power of poetry until last night. W. oree of the oree trio said that "Jazz is like the ocean, its got many many fish." he also said that "it takes great courage to present jazz in america."

prior to the poets, he wanted to prove a point-- that everyone has music within them. he requested that the least musically inclined person take the stage and play the cow bell. one rhythmn again and again-- Jackie's groove thing, he called it. i must say, it was pretty hip.

the first poet performed with jackie's groove thing in the background. she spoke about jazz and how it fills every part of her body, then she talked about how its the kind of feeling that makes you want to be a better person, and about inner strength. the poets demonstrated humor and intensity and spirituality, and even the gospel. the second one said that jazz is synonomous with cool and proceeeded to ellaborate in his poem.

a song played by the band was immitating a ship a sea. with a heavy lean towards avante-gaurde jazz, they simulated ship experiencing turbulence. the last lady gave one reading on jeremiah and ended her final poem with "my blues be black."

inthecompanyoipoets.com

i came back and went to sleep, b/c i hadnt slept the night before and i spent the whole day landscaping. now it was 4:00am and im still up. i'll talk about the sacred concert tomorrow (i mean, today when i wake up)

this group will be performing in philly (i want the scholar program to go see it.)

:)

habitat

2004-06-14T03:08:00.000-04:00

i made everyone pancakes and as i was making them, i thought, "why am i making everyone pancakes?" passion drives me to act impulsively on my instincts. i would be ok if they didn't want them-- i'm not the type of person that people get use to in a week.

optimally, i'd love to do roofing. evidently, we did landscaping. i made no big deal about it (i do love service projects.) odyssey and endeavor were teamed up. i feel as if i connected more with the other group than my own. here's a run down.

steve and eugene: they were nice fellows. we put on our name tags (which was a good thing b/c i didnt know everyones name.) and started the day with a prayer.

craig: seems like a very insightful and considerate guy. we connected through our bi-cultural upbringing. he enlightened me a lot on how people interact in mcnair.

kenny: i was excited that he was going to be in our group, then i found out that he wasnt. i guess we connect on the more worldly/philosophical level. i find that people from africa are always so fascinating. he was such a hard worker and never complained about anything.

chinedu: we connected. it's another one of those, "i cant explain" connections. i had that initial feeling right when i first interacted with him. anyhow, i decided to lighten the day and i wrote, "my butt smells" on the "nametags" and proceded to tape it chinedu's butt. success! hehehe. later that day i made a joke about how the dirt smelled like chinedu's butt. he pointed out that i didnt need to specify that i was joking, it takes away from the humor. duly noted-- i'm going to work on that. at the end of the day, i soaked him with the hose, he called me a jokester. while we were waiting for the bus, he threw his empty capri sun at me. i looked up at him and said, we are going to be best friends. he nodded.

it was a good day, a lot of great conversations.

this is the life

2004-06-14T02:45:00.000-04:00

i need an adventure like this:

//================================================================

FROM DANIEL

Date: Mon, 7 Jun 2004 17:22:12 -0400
From: danlins
Subject: Va bike trip update

Bonjour!
Today is the fourth day of our bike trip across the country. We are in
Sandston,
Virginia, a little east of Richmond. I rode ten miles to the nearest public
library, just to send off this email, while Chris is back at a hostel
(methodist church letting us use their kitchen and lawn for camping) making
bread like a good housewife. I've got to get out of here before it starts
raining, though. We are well and taking a break today. We rode 40 miles today
and found this awesome place to hang for a while to dry out our gear and just
relax after a 65, 100, and 85 mile day the last three days. Our goal is 60
miles a day, and the days with much more are from sunup to sundown, almost. Our
average mph is around 13, but we try to keep a 15 mph pace (it doesn't happen
towards the end of th day). We hope to be in KY in about a week. Some
highlights:

We left from Rehoboth Beach on June 4th, around 7:30 am and rode to Snow Hill
Maryland to sleep in a state park. $25 fee that we weren't willing to pay. So
we prayed a lot and then asked the Park Ranger, who let us stay there for free!
God has kept us safe from cars and everything else so far. Thanks for your
prayers! We need them! Also, let us know your prayer requests so we can keep in
touch and (mainly) because we have so much time to pray while we are cycling.

The second night, we crossed the cheasepeake bay bridge tunnel in a truck,
cause
they don't allow bikes in the tunnels. Stayed in First Landing state park with
money from a local pastor who didn't want us sleeping on his church lawn. Third
day we crossed into Jamestown on a Ferry and stayed on the lawn of the
Wiliamsburg Unitarian Universalists (club)? Now, we're here.

Met some TransAm cyclists who told us about the hostel. Went to church on Sun
and got some food for breakfast. We haven't been eating enough, we realized.
Yesterday, we ate only ~ 2500 calories, while we probably burned 4000-6000.
There are sites online that tell calories burned per activiy and interesting
things like that. We get sore, but our bodies are beginning to acclimate to the
stresses we put on them. The second day (though it is revealing Chris's current
physical unfitness, I have to tell you about this, cause it is hilarious),
Chris said to me, "Daniel, if we have to make it to the Bay Bridge Tunnel, I
will die." when we were 55 miles away from it. That night, while sitting around
the campfire eating hot dogs and instant oatmeal packets, he said, "this is the
life!" Crazy kid.

Live it up!
Daniel (& Chris, in spirit)

//================================================================

FROM CHRIS:

Serac: sheryl!
FF PaLaDiN UD: yo!
FF PaLaDiN UD: how are you feelin?
Serac: tired
FF PaLaDiN UD: where are u sleeping tonight?
Serac: i messed my knee up, we are in UVA now...
FF PaLaDiN UD: how bad is it?
Serac: Daniel got a hold of some IV people here, someones apartment
Serac: potluck dinner to!
FF PaLaDiN UD: sweeeeeet
Serac: i know
FF PaLaDiN UD: ull be well enough to ride tomorrow?
Serac: um, yeah, we are taking a break tommorow
FF PaLaDiN UD: did u read the last email daniel sent?
Serac: we were at this nice hostel at a church 2 days ago and the spirit told daniel we should stay...but we left...
Serac: ya
FF PaLaDiN UD: haha
Serac: about me being a woman
Serac: that was 2 days ago...we should have stayed there
FF PaLaDiN UD: get me a souvineer
FF PaLaDiN UD: it can be anything
FF PaLaDiN UD: a piece of paper
FF PaLaDiN UD: a stick
Serac: haha
Serac: from where?
Serac: anywhere?
FF PaLaDiN UD: well the condition is that it has to have a story along with it
Serac: haha, ok
FF PaLaDiN UD: i'll keep you guys in my prayers
Serac: ok, good
Serac: we really need them
Serac: dude....it's awesome
Serac: everynight, god gives us a place to stay
FF PaLaDiN UD: i would love to do something like that
Serac: it's scary sometimes...because it's getting dark and you don't know where your going to stay, then all of the sudden God provides
Serac: it's soo cool
FF PaLaDiN UD: i bet
FF PaLaDiN UD: tell daniel to pray for me too...he knows what i need prayer for
Serac: ok
Serac: i will
FF PaLaDiN UD: i love you guys
Serac: we love you too sheryl
FF PaLaDiN UD: have u guys shaved?
Serac: were in the library...i'm covered in grease from my chain...and smell awfull...i wouldn't be suprised if they kicked us out
Serac: no
FF PaLaDiN UD: haha
Serac: well...we shaved before we left
FF PaLaDiN UD: you should try to take some pictures somehow
Serac: yeah, we have a digital camera, but left the cord at home....so it is being mailed to my grandparents in Ky.
FF PaLaDiN UD: and put together a survival guide when u get back...im serious...i bet u two could write a great christian novel
Serac: and we have a disposable camera....and a 35 mm camera someone gave us, but it doesn't work
Serac: well...i've learned more in 5 days than a whole year at college
Serac: more important things too
FF PaLaDiN UD: w00000000000000000t
Serac: Like...I was about to quit earlier today....just a whole host of problems and despair....and this guy pulls up and offers us a ride to a bike shop
FF PaLaDiN UD: is ur bike not making it?
Serac: no, it's fine....i thought my bearings were getting tore up, but my crank arm was just loose....it was no big deal but it sounded bad
FF PaLaDiN UD: do u get a lot of fan mail?
Serac: some....not a whole bunch
Serac: like...usually 4 or 5 people respond when we send something out...but we've only sent out like....2 mails
FF PaLaDiN UD: what would you guys appreciate from us, besides our prayers?
Serac: i guess fan mail is cool...there isn't a whole lot else you can do....our route has been pretty on the fly so far
FF PaLaDiN UD: where could i send a letter to that you guys will hit next?
FF PaLaDiN UD: real main
FF PaLaDiN UD: mail*
Serac: um, maybe my grandparents in kentucky
FF PaLaDiN UD: do u have an address and a deadline?
FF PaLaDiN UD: i'll send you guys something
FF PaLaDiN UD: (u guys have bibles with you?)
Serac: yeah
Serac: we have bibles
FF PaLaDiN UD: do u know the address for ur grandparents and an estimate to how far you guys are?
FF PaLaDiN UD: (how far, measured in days)
Serac: yeah
Serac: um....Don & Bretta Aukerman
75 Mockingbird Lane
Grayson, KY 41143
FF PaLaDiN UD: k
Serac: should be there in 1 1/2 weeks - 2 weeks
FF PaLaDiN UD: ok
FF PaLaDiN UD: u guys are an inspiration
Serac: well...if you heard me earlier today....you might think otherwise...trust me, it's all God
FF PaLaDiN UD: well
FF PaLaDiN UD: "The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."
FF PaLaDiN UD: 1 peter 4:7-11
FF PaLaDiN UD: have u guys had any opportunities to serve anyone?
FF PaLaDiN UD: im sure God has provided plenty of people who have served you guys with much hospitality
Serac: not yet...i witnessed to a lady at a gas station thismorning
FF PaLaDiN UD: i'll pray that God gives you guys amazing opportunities
Serac: yeah, we were talking about that earlier....
Serac: ok, good, we need those
FF PaLaDiN UD: ok...i gtg...i have research and FUN stuff like that
FF PaLaDiN UD: i cant wait to hear from you again
Serac: ok, it was reall nice talking to you

//================================================================

FROM DANIEL

FF PaLaDiN UD: ;-)
danlins: hey sherol.

Auto response from FF PaLaDiN UD: but with that a side, i believe that the question i do not ask myself often enough is: am i loving this person? i dont think W.W.J.D.? cuts it anymore. we already know a great deal about what Jesus would do, it's more a question of whether we are doing it.

danlins: good to imagine your smile!

a novelty character

2004-06-14T01:12:00.000-04:00

verses of the weekend

"It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love." pillipians 1:15-16a

"you really still consider yourself an outsider though? it seems that you are...involved...to a large extent with groups on campus, and thus, with people. as you say, you make a big impact."
FF PaLaDiN UD: i dont fit it anywhere...im just a novelty character
"a novelty character?"
FF PaLaDiN UD: yes
"by novelty, do you mean a character that is just there for extraneous purposes, and secondary interaction with the "primary" characters?"
FF PaLaDiN UD: Main Entry: nov·el·ty
Pronunciation: 'nä-v&l-tE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
Etymology: Middle English novelte, from Middle French noveleté, from novel
1 : something new or unusual
"you find yourself in the position of being the "unusual one"...hence why you feel that you don't really belong?"
FF PaLaDiN UD: im everything to everyone...always something different to someone else
FF PaLaDiN UD: very confusing
"so you essentially serve a different purpose to every person in a set of people or a group...therefore, you can't just be one set person, because everyone else knows you as something different?"
FF PaLaDiN UD: its life
"...true"
"i'm sure that every person in that group appreciates what you do for them though"
"which isn't any consolation, and i'm sure you knew that already"
FF PaLaDiN UD: my consolation is in "the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel." phil 1:12

FF PaLaDiN UD: i didnt get RF...b/c people didnt think i could cut it
FF PaLaDiN UD: but i got it anyway
FF PaLaDiN UD: and i know i made a difference for those freshmen
FF PaLaDiN UD: just like i know i did as an RA...despite what some others may have thought
FF PaLaDiN UD: i wish more people saw me for who i really am...and what i really do...but they dont
"do you tell them abbout u"
FF PaLaDiN UD: people make up their minds before i ever get that chance
FF PaLaDiN UD: eh, its not like i know how to explain it anyhow

Reagan = Dead

2004-06-14T00:29:00.000-04:00

I believe that a president should die the same way he is born: hidden behind the facade that charmed his public. Presidential candidates (with the help of learned politicians) create for themselves a tasty image for their voters to indulge. In a perfect world, we would choose the leader of our nation based off of what he (or she) truly desires for our country, why he believes what he does, and how he plans to run this nation. Unfortunately, we vote on an image developed through research and money directed towards our fancy. Who cares how we remember Reagan after his death? It’s not like we really knew who he was while he was alive.

believe it or not

2004-06-12T05:03:00.000-04:00

if you dont know enough about an issue, u shouldnt have a complete opinion about it; but if youve already made up your mind, you might as well voice it.

i just completed my first argument for the current events discussion forum. (im so tired of hearing about Reagan, although, i'm probably just bitter that the coverage has been replacing the simpsons of FOX. in one hour, im going to make choc chip pancakes for everyone (my specialty.)

i bet my roommate must think that i have the strangest sleep habits...lol

i guess i'll work my way backwards to the middle of the week...

a few hours ago i deposited my check and opened up a savings account. i was getting pretty aggravated by the teller (i figure, maybe it's that time of month.)

i met with my mentor (when i speak about my professor from now on, i am talking about professor bohacek from CPEG, who i worked with last summer, instead of professor hanley of phil.) that afternoon-- our weekly meeting time is now Fri. at 3. i feel tons better about the mentor thing. infact, he really liked my website enough to hire to me make his website.

what i have to do is to continue my investigation of the philosophers take on the metaphysics of Jazz. tomorrow (tomorrow is actually today) im hopefully going to have an awesome interaction with the director for the jazz fest and i can (through informal discussions) understand what other types of people consider to be Jazz. i'm not really sure how im going to organize all this information, but i am keeping the faith.

my mentor once told me that the artists rarely have a conceptual clue of their art. i guess i am begining to understand what he meant.

in terms of web design i want to set up a guestbook, but i dont know how PHP works. similarly, i wonder if it is feasible to download the code for a message board instead of subscribing to a service.

in the mcnair office to pick up my check was kevin and the other guy. i dont know the other guy's name, but i like him. (he reminds me of my friend H.T.) they said that i probably dont need to go to the html workshop, but who knows what will happen.

thursday late night, i went out with my friend parag to check out this funky alternative band (it made me ask the question of where this band crosses the line from jazz-funk to alternative-funk.) townhall was the band, a very versatile group with players that had mastery over a plethora of instruments.

a bit earlier, i went out with another friend, evan, to get indian food. i met him in pep band (we both play tenor sax) towards the end of last fall. evan is fascinating, your stereotypical renaissance man. he seems perfect, too perfect. but i am intrigued, regardless. i enjoy our intellectual exchanges.

early evening we got our SSI's back. the guy from career counciling told us to list what we would like to be our careers. with palm pilot in hand, i wrote my whole list down. i scored exactly how i thought i would score, which does'nt really help me with finding out what i really want to do in life.

im still adjusting to my new schedule, so my sleeping and eating are very unsteady. wednesday night we had icecream cake and really good spaghetti. i've decided to not eat until everyone else has gotten food for these meals. i told khadir that it was my take on the "many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first."

that night i feel that people began to understand better my anxieties about my group.

i worry about how much more i am going to be reading into the readings in comparison with my groupmates.

i dont speak out too much, b/c i am still assessing my surroundings and how each person functions in my group. i can say that i'm not really feeling much better about my circumstance, but i know that things will be ok, regardless.

i seem to not relate so well with my attitude, and they dont seem to be able to handle me as a group member, so i often feel brushed aside.

we are cooking this wednesday and even though we arent suppose to buy premade food. we are heating up premade lasagna b/c the majority of the group doesn't know how to cook, and doesnt really feel like trying. they seemed to complain a lot about the cost of things, but they dont realize that they arent merely paying to feed a large group of people, they are also paying for the 8 other free meals that we will be eating. one person even said that if they dont like what we prepare, then they dont have to eat it.

i dont like this attitude, probably b/c it is different from mine. i thought it would be fun to make dinner for everyone. i probably will do something extra next time around, i dont mind spending the extra money, and i do want people to enjoy their meal.

maria read my blog, i wonder what she thinks. but anyhow, coicidentally, we got a new black guy in our group. thats a definate plus. :)

thats it for now, im going to build houses today.

oh, and i got a response from Sam about being an RA in russell again. she said they are full, but then again, i dont really know what i want. im just tired of not fitting in anywhere, and not having a place to belong.

wounds of a friend

2004-06-12T04:25:00.000-04:00

"If, while we seek to be justified in Christ, it becomes evident that we ourselves are sinners, does that mean that Christ promotes sin? Absolutely not! If I rebuild what I destroyed, I prove that I am a lawbreaker. For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God." galatians 2:17-19

i struggle with the line that seperates bitterness and concern. i have overwhelming concern for people, but when does it begin to consume me? i believe that paul, although very bold in his statements, kept a strong peace of mind. far too often, i mistake my restlessness for passion.

Americans are Stupid

2004-06-12T04:02:00.000-04:00

1 -- Find and read the following two articles:
i) "Ronald Reagan, An American Life: A Truly Exceptional American," by M. Barone, writer for USNews.com.
ii)"The Man, the Myths: Don't believe everything you hear about Ronald Reagan," by David Greenberg, writer for Slate Magazine.

2 -- Your assignment is to synthesize an argument using both articles. You argument should be between 125-150 words.

/**************************************************/

As I complete my day, I sit back and turn on my television, flipping through my favorite broadcasting stations, only to be assaulted by ongoing coverage of the recent Reagan passing. The Reagan term seems no more than a fading figment from my youth, and while I cannot wait to inherit the problems of our society, (as a college student in 2004,) the world seems to have made more sense to me back then than it does now.

Do I credit this to the circumstance of our nation’s economy or international standings? No, I credit it towards the fact that I didn’t care about those things back then and it was ok. My point being: that our nation, represented by political figures and media personalities, encourages the children of its future to perpetuate arguments over all of its concurrent issues. These generations are being raised to cling onto some vague notion of individuality, which live on some imaginary principle of freedom, whole-heartedly fighting for causes that they have no bearing over.

Do not mistake me as an advocate for ignorance; it is our duty as scholars to investigate truth. However, arguments over inane politics of the past only perpetuate the ongoing discordance of our future.

careers

2004-06-09T10:18:00.000-04:00

1 peter 4:7-11

"The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."

this is interesting b/c i just had my meeting with dr. p and i talked about where i'd want to be vocationally. the only two things i am for sure about are: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." and "Love your neighbor as yourself." (mark 12:30-31)

here are my current occupational ideas

chef
spy
videogame designer
author
motivational speaker
college professor
movie director
ethical hacker
missionary
artist
publicist
jazz cat
teacher
journalist
tv personalty
dj
radio
student affairs
interior designer
software engineer
restaurant owner
business

but with that a side, i believe that the question i do not ask myself often enough is: am i loving this person? i dont think W.W.J.D.? cuts it anymore. we already know a great deal about what Jesus would do, it's more a question of whether we are doing it.

im going to be setting up my webpage today, and ive written an email to speak with my prof H. (my phil mentor.)

there are too many things going on in my head right not, thats probably why i am so out of it.

iv or no iv

2004-06-08T22:59:00.000-04:00

ive decided to talk about the bible study with the researchers tomorrow at dinner.

im thinking 1 john. i could prep with iv and then lead with the researchers. im not to confident leading though, we will see.

i brought my res and her sister to iv, it was cool. we got icecream afterwards. i drove back pretty out of it, but talked a lot about the over-complacency of iv.

sidetrack: commerecials always feature loser guys trying to hit on hot girls, never the other way around.

the bathroom in squire is a lot nicer than the one in sussex, so thats what nee cee and i have been using.

the library workshop today was informative, but boring. i recalled the windows 'net send' command and sent messages to the entire lab on getting nachos. mcnair scholars were not as enthusiased as the other researchers were from last summer about the nachos.

i think i will start bling bling up again asap.

tina betz got back to me on volunteering, im going to meet with her on saturday (pray that all goes well.)

tim kim instant messaged me just an hour ago and we talked about an asian fellowship this coming year, something else to pray about it.

I'm learning style sheets currently. hopefully, i will have a page up and running by the end of the week

i'm scared of my mentor, i need prayer for that too. (oh, and the RBS )

God is love

2004-06-08T12:49:00.000-04:00

verse if the day:
"We love because he first loved us." 1 john 4:19

this reminds me of last fall, how hard it was to accept my circumstances. i remember in 1 john 4:18, it said," there is no fear in love." then where do my fears come from? if nothing prevented love, then what prevents us from loving? i still dont understand, but atleast now i know that everything is going to be ok. Thank you Jesus.

starting the bible study is a bit rough. i dont think i can do it by myself-- i'm just a promoter, not a leader. dr. p seemed fine with having one. im having my first one-one tomorrow. i think i'll feel better about things afterwards.

i guess i can talk a bit about the people ive met so far.

Laarni: was one of the first people who i got to talk to, shes a really sincere person. i enjoy talking to her. she seems very light-hearted, and always smiling (but in a Fo'ReaL way.)

Curtis: he lives accross the hall from me. i had lunch with him today, and disclosed some of my anxieties. he seems pretty Fo'ReaL as well

Tyesha: she is probably the person who i am most comfortable talking with (we had steel pan together way back.) im glad shes here; unfortunately, shes only staying for the week, then going to IC.

Khadir: we met in KY building houses over spring break. he's in my group, i guess you could say that we are the more laid back people there (and we are both computer majors.)

Dan: he's also one of the first people i met. he seems pretty chill. we are the only two doing humanities research. his topic is ADHD (something that i am fairly familiar with.)

Jung Ha: she is like the polar opposite from me, also in my group. i dont know if we will ever hit it off-- we come from drastically different worlds. shes presents herself well and is liked/accepted where ever she goes. things just seem so much easier for her, she easily fits into her surroundings.

Nee Cee: my roommate, i met her in gospel choir. She has got a beautiful voice and a very friendly/charismatic disposition. im still not use to having a roommate, but so far so good.

thats it so far. i really need to get some research done.

quick thing about my anxieties, i think it is easily described as on the episode of the simpsons where lisa is just down for no apparent reason. at the end of the show, she jams with bleeding gums murphy on her bari.

the leaning tower

2004-06-08T06:07:00.000-04:00

yesterday...

yesterday i went to the dentist, then had to go straight to a workshop. it reminded me too much of RA training, and i dont think i fit in well with my group (i guess i will probably tough it out.) i have this overwhelming feeling that i'd be more comfortable with more males (or black people) in my group (not to be racist or sexist, i guess im referring to those steriotyped personality-types.) i also suspect that there is a reason (whether from the mcnair administration or God himself) that i am in this circumstance, so i am not going to fight it. (it makes me think of the SE group i 'cleverly' orchestrated last semester...) i think im going to surrender control, and stop being so self-centered. wish me luck.

we had to build the highest tower (which we did end up doing...i cant believe i didnt think of cutting off the bendy part of the straws.) i dont know what is wrong with me (maybe ive grown too accustomed to not fitting in, or maybe im just tired of not being around like-minded people.)

my team has an anbundance of forced enthusiasm, and that usually makes me feel very distant from the others only b/c i have trouble forcing anything. i thought of the base idea for our tower-- rolled up newspaper (although, i am not one to acquire credit. i figure since this blog is fairly private, i can atleast recount the things accurately.) credit was given to someone else. it did bother me somewhat, but i shrugged it off. (i need not forget my experience in my SE group-- a humbling experience long overdue.)

sometimes i am so outspoken, sometimes i am eerily silent. during the activity, i seemed a bit withdrawn. the people are begining to find much sarcasm in my language, even when i being serious (it will be something for me to callibrate, and for them to familiarize with.) ive done these team-builders again and again (i dont mind them, they can be fun,) but i am now starting to understand the intentions behind the activity. i tried to amplify these intentions, but people don't seem to see beyond the surface of things (its not about the highest tower.) this may prove to be an obstacle for me in our later discussions-- my level of depth and thought may end up frustrating/isolating me.

im currently caught in a dilema: i dont feel like trying to be social or fit in (im sure i naturally will be) -- i feel like i have to put more effort into appearing normal (and enthused) for everyone or people will begin to suspect there is something wrong.

i, on the other hand, am begining to suspect, that there is nothing wrong and this is just the way that i am.

im going to suggest some crazy ideas to my group. i wonder how they will take. this will give me some more insight on my group dynamic. ive just realized that i am quick to romanticize things, but just as quickly am i to discredit them. (hopeless romantic, who is easily discouraged)

i dont think i will feel comfortable until people start getting use to me (oh well, its only been a day.)

my friend lewis suggested that i stop using elipses in my writing (perhaps, i have subconciously followed his advice.)

after reading this post, i wonder how many people would say that i think too much. it gets annoying. thats like telling someone they read too much. i know, i know, maybe i should just live my life more and not think so much, but maybe u should think more and not live so thoughtlessly.

testing

2004-06-08T05:58:00.000-04:00

testing testing
(i hope that theres a big space between the two testings)

comments can now be left by the nonmembers, which right now is only one person.

interesting sleeping habits

2004-06-08T05:54:00.000-04:00

its 5 in the morning and i just woke up. (i hate how blogger deletes the extra spaces, im going to try and correct this nuissance.)

first morning (afternoon)

2004-06-07T12:36:00.000-04:00

so i did the permit thing this morning.

i realized my running computer is noticeably humming, so i opened it up to look inside. a summer ago my professor had me build the server for the lab, which i now realize was a very valuable experience. it was my 20 GB western digital hard drive (same company we had trouble with last summer.)

the verse of the day (morning) is:
"It is written, 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God'" -Mattew 4:4

the reading was from matt 4:1-11. observation: satan uses scripture to decieve people, he attacks on 3 fronts: lust of flesh, lust of the eye, and pride of life (also in Gen 3:1-6).

i wonder when summer IV is...

first night

2004-06-07T03:20:00.000-04:00

>>i feel a great deal of anxiety right now; most likely because my life is
>>hopelessly directionless. (i wasn't joking when i said that id be a
>>handful)

>>but i guess more immediately with this upcoming summer, i love my project,
>>but im worried about the mentor thing. i really dont like imposing on
>>people, so im not sure if he really wants to work with me, or he's just
>>been busy. i also dont like not knowing, sometimes people just dont like
>>me, and i never can figure out why (maybe they just dont understand.)

>>so, i should probably be one of your first 1:1's with ample time blocked
>>out, b/c i dont know what is going on with me at all.

>>i have a very adventurous and ambitious (sometimes relentless) spirit, but
>>what seems to be no hope for any sort of direction. i can pretty much do
>>anything (maybe i should just pick something.)

>>what should i do about the mentor thing?

...an email that i wrote dr. p on the anxieties i have about the summer. man, it's been quite a year.

so, i was suppose to go on some christian retreat, but i was too tired (which ended up becoming an illness for a day or so.) according to my timeline:

Week 1 â€“ Set up well organized website for investigation, identify Jazz subgenres, outline the timeline for the evolution of Jazz, identify defining stereotypes of Jazz, understand the basic concepts in musical aesthetics.

...i figure a daily journal seemed fitting (lol, we will see how long this lasts.)

nee cee is my roommate, that will be interesting (especially since i havent had a roommate for 2 years.) jung ha and i seem to cross paths again and again, and inspite of the years that have gone by, its still a little weird. im so different than i was when she and i were best friends freshman year of hs; im sure she is as well. oh well, im not one to force things, i will just go with the flow and keep things Fo'ReaL. im sure God's got something instore for me.

the bible verse of the day is...

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

i am Fo'ReaL going to read my bible everyday, im doing the "out daily bread" thing. i know it's not much (but its better than nothing.) i have to catch up on the past 6 days (booo.)

we are going to schedule our bible study tomorrow after whatever workshop we are suppose to go to. wish me luck!

move in was today (i really mean yesterday,) and i showed up late to the meeting ($50 freakin dollars for the first late we have.) cindy came with me to check out where im going to be living this summer, she talked to jung ha for a bit. i felt weird a light headed the whole time (very out of it)-- its going to take these people a few weeks to get use to me (cest la vie.)

i did a nice job setting up my space. i was about to go to bed, but i ended up having an idea attack, which ended being an exploration around sussex and squire (it is really cold in here.) this is a very creepy dorm, so many corridors and alcoves. i came back at like 1 am and was like, "i don't remember propping the chair against the door, then i realized that nee cee was probably moving in (wow, she has A LOT of stuff.) it is 4 am, and she is still moving in.

i cant wait to hook up with the people who are around this summer. i'm still unsure of this whole on my own research thing. i emailed tina betz, director of cultural affairs in the city of wilmington (i hope i didnt wait too long) to volunteer for the CFBF.
www.clifforbrownjazzfest.com

im probably going to sleep in today.

tomorrow:
get the things that i forgot to bring
learn style sheets for my website
call tina
parking permit
meet with dr. p