super star

As a Christian, I can only speak on behalf of my own affiliation. In light of what seems to be a vast majority, I can truthfully tell you that I feel like one of very few. Most people identify with the religion they inherit from their parents (if they identify with any at all,) yet few are actively pursuing a relationship with God. The state of religion in America is mere association-- People can *be* Christian, but it does not mean that they are trying to live as Christ would.

We are all born with the desire to be loved and to questions of who we are and why we are here. There are people around the world with no choice in the matter, their freedoms constricted by greed and ignorance. In America, however, we willingly surrender that inquiry and settle for how society tells us we should be.

personal statement take 4

When I was a little girl, about 5 years old, my father brought home a Nintendo Entertainment System. Through a sequence of buttons, I could immerse myself into another world, tackling adventures and adversity that my imagination was not yet sophisticated enough to construct on its own.  At that age, my means of interaction was not exclusively through spoken dialects. On top of juggling the languages of two cultures, I began to study the artistic expressions of music.  The cognition of communication flourished in my early childhood, and although it seemed to be thoughtless leisure at the time, the 8-bit processor that ran in my living room began training me to understand the digital interaction between my analogue precision and its 7-pin controller. Through a meager collection of capacitors and resistors, my childhood pastime allowed me to see the world in ways that real life restricted, not that my actions did not yield consequences, but that I could always go back and discover the correct way of doing things.  Since I was not able to understand the science behind the stimuli, these virtual realities sparked a life-long curiosity on whether machine could intelligibly interact with man.

As a University of Delaware 2003 Science and Engineering Scholar, I worked as a team member with a number of graduate programmers on a Mobil Ad Hoc Networking simulator for military operations.  Under the direction of Dr. Stephan Bohacek, professor of computer engineering, I was given the role of researching military operations, working with OpenGL to efficiently create a way of producing urban areas, and helping to determine a conventional way for nodes to mobilize in such an environment.  Although the Internet has introduced an ever-increasing amount of information to the fingertips of millions, it is confined to the limits of wired communication; long overdue, the next stage of this information, communication, and computation explosion will inevitably come with the deployment of Mobile ad hoc Networking—MANETs, impacting on every apparent aspect of life.  It was the central goal of our work to advance the performance of such wireless networks.

For the first time in my undergraduate studies, I was challenged to apply my acquired knowledge in computers towards solving a much bigger problem.  Research has encouraged me to aspire a graduate degree, leading me to the Ronald McNair Scholar Post-Baccalaureate Achievement Program. Through the McNair Program, I took on a more independent study with Professor Richard Hanley, of the Philosophy department.  Although my project, “The Aesthetics of Jazz,” seemed to be no more than a breadth experience to investigate my stretch of interests, I began to realize the correlation between my passions of music and computers.  This has led me to conclude that jazz, more than mere music, is like a language of its own culture; similarly, computer science is the study of communicating logic.  In addition, my work in computer science is balanced with philosophical meanderings, giving me insight into the types of worlds and realities that I might one day (re)create through applied artificial intelligence.

I am just beginning to scratch the surface of the artificial intelligence anomaly, including my childhood infatuation with it.  In particular, I am interested in Dr. Michael Lewis’s investigation of Human-Agent Interactions and Game Engines in Research. I believe that adversity and experience build character; however, the realm of interaction is not exclusively person to person.  Novels and movies trigger profound ideas and emotions, but so much is left for its audience to pursue.  The uncharted possibilities of virtual reality would be a fruitful area of research, because of the intellectual taboo that overlooks video games.   This under-explored idiom can potentially express literary genius and cinematic masterpiece through the creative development of AI and VR.  With computer science as my medium for inducing progress, I hope to develop a means for effectively communicating revolutionary ideas.

personal statement again

When I was a little girl, about 5 years old, my father brought home a Nintendo Entertainment System. Through a sequence of buttons, I could immerse myself into another world, adventures and adversity that my imagination was not yet sophisticated enough to construct on its own.  At that age, my means of interaction was not exclusively through spoken dialects. On top of juggling the languages of two cultures, I began to study the artistic expressions of music.  The cognition of communication flourished in my early childhood, and although it seemed to be thoughtless leisure at the time, the 8-bit processor that ran in my living room began training me to understand the digital interaction between my analogue precision and its 7-pin controller. Through a meager collection of capacitors and resistors, my childhood pastime allowed me to see the world in ways that real life restricted, not that my actions did not yield consequences, but that I could always go back and discover the correct way of doing things.  Since I was not able to understand the science behind the stimuli, these virtual realities sparked a life-long curiosity on whether machine could intelligibly interact with man.

As a Science and Engineering Scholar in summer 2003, through the UD Department of Computer Engineering, I worked in a team of programmers on a Mobil Ad Hoc Networking simulator for military operations.  This was a project lead by Dr. Stephan Bohacek, and specifically, I was given the role of researching military operations, working with OpenGL to efficiently create a way of producing urban areas, and helping to determine a conventional way for nodes to mobilize in such an environment.  Although the Internet has introduced an ever-increasing amount of information to the fingertips of millions, it is confined to the limits of wired communication; long overdue, the next stage of this information, communication, and computation explosion will inevitably come with the deployment of Mobile ad hoc Networking—MANETs, impacting on every apparent aspect of life.  

For the first time in my undergraduate studies, I was challenged to apply my acquired knowledge in computers towards solving a much bigger problem (i dont know how to make this work.)  This has encouraged me to aspire a graduate degree, leading me to the Ronald McNair Scholar Post-Baccalaureate Achievement Program. Through the McNair Program, I took on a more independent study with Professor Richard Hanley, of the Philosophy department. I submitted my proposal on “The Aesthetics of Jazz” for the following summer, and although it seemed to be no more than a breadth experience to investigate my stretch of interests, as the project itself was revealed to me, I began to realize the tie between my passions of music and computers.  I looked at Jazz through the eyes of a philosopher and collected the opinions from Jazz critics of all trades. This has led me to conclude that Jazz, more than mere music, is like a language of its own culture. My infatuation with Jazz is not that different from Computer Science. Jazz is a language of emotions, and similarly, Computer Science is the study of communicating logic—both are mediums for expression.

There’s so much more I want to investigate; in particular, I am interested in Dr. Michael Lewis’s work in Human-Agent Interactions and Game Engines in Research. I believe that adversity and experience build character; however, the realm of interaction is not exclusively person to person.  Novels and movies trigger profound ideas and emotions, but so much is left for its audience to pursue.  The uncharted possibilities of virtual reality would be a fruitful area of research, because of the intellectual taboo that overlooks video games.   This under-explored idiom can potentially express literary genius and cinematic masterpiece through the creative development of AI and VR.

I am just beginning to scratch the surface of the artificial intelligence anomaly, including my childhood infatuation with it. I don’t really know any better than the next person on whether or not the world needs to be changed, but I don’t believe that things have to be the way they are.  With AI as my medium for inducing progress, I hope to develop a means for effectively communicating revolutionary ideas.

personal statement

When I was a little girl, about 5 years old, my father brought home a Nintendo Entertainment System. I remember when I first fumbled with the RF switch and AC adapter; somehow, these cable connections allowed this machine to project itself from the cathode-ray-tube that sat in my living room, and through a sequence of buttons, I could immerse myself into another world, adventures and adversity that my imagination was not yet sophisticated enough to construct on its own.  In addition, since I was not able to understand the science behind the stimuli, these virtual realities sparked a life-long curiosity on whether machine could intelligibly interact with man.
At that age, my means of interaction was not exclusively through spoken semantics. On top of juggling the languages of two cultures, I began to study the artistic expressions of music.  The cognition of communication flourished in my early childhood, and although it seemed to be thoughtless leisure at the time, the 8-bit processor that ran in my living room began training me to understand the digital interaction with my analogue precision from my 7-pin controller. Through a meager collection of capacitors and resistors, my childhood pastime allowed me to see the world in ways that real life restricted, not that my actions did not yield consequences, but that I could always go back and discover the correct way of doing things.
As a Science and Engineering Scholar in summer 2003, through the UD Department of Computer Engineering, I worked in a team of programmers on a Mobil Ad Hoc Networking simulator for military operations. This was a project lead by Dr. Stephan Bohacek, and specifically, I was given the role of researching military operations, working with OpenGL to efficiently create a way of producing urban areas, and helping to determine a conventional way for nodes to mobilize in such an environment.  Although, the Internet has introduced an ever-increasing amount of information to the fingertips of millions, it is confined to the limits of wired communication. Long overdue, the next stage of this information, communication, and computation explosion will inevitably come with the deployment of Mobile ad hoc Networking—MANETs, impacting on every apparent aspect of life. It was the central goal of this work to advance the performance of such wireless networks.  For the first time in my undergraduate studies, I was challenged to apply my acquired knowledge in computers towards solving a much bigger problem.
This encouraged me to aspire towards a graduate degree, leading me to the Ronald McNair Scholar Post-Baccalaureate Achievement Program. Through the structure of the McNair Program, I took on a more independent study with Professor Richard Hanley, of the Philosophy department. I submitted my proposal on “The Aesthetics of Jazz” for the following summer, and although it seemed to be no more than a breadth experience to investigate my stretch of interests, as the project itself was revealed to me, I began to realize the tie between these two passions. I looked at Jazz through the eyes of a philosopher and collected the opinions from Jazz critics of all trades. This has led me to conclude that Jazz, more than mere music, is like a language of its own culture. My infatuation with Jazz is not that different from Computer Science. Jazz is a language of emotions, and similarly, Computer Science is the study of communicating logic—both are mediums for expression.
After these intense attempts of exploration, there’s so much more I want to investigate. In particular, I am interested in Dr. Michael Lewis’s work in Human-Agent Interactions and Game Engines in Research. I believe that adversity and experience build character; however, the realm of interaction is not exclusively person to person.  Novels and movies trigger profound ideas and emotions, but so much is left for its audience to pursue.  The uncharted possibilities of virtual reality would be a fruitful area of research, because of the intellectual taboo that overlooks video games.
Now, at the end of my 3rd year in college, I find myself just beginning to scratch the surface of the artificial intelligence anomaly, including my childhood infatuation with it. I don’t really know any better than the next person on whether or not the world needs to be changed, but I don’t believe that things have to be the way they are. There is much for me to contribute to the world around me, and I know that graduate school will bring me closer to finding out the kind of person who I am meant to become, with AI as my medium for inducing progress in composing human-agent interactions that build character.

arts and sciences

Sheryl Chen – Issue Essay

"The objective of science is largely opposed to that of art; while science seeks to discover truths, art seeks to obscure them."

Science’s primary objective is to investigate truth; in contrast, art does not operate within the same parameters of logic. However, it is more a matter of whether science is in conflict of art, whether one is counterproductive to the other. Although both can be mutually exclusive in procedure, the arts and the sciences both operate on the basis of truth, and in fact, go hand in hand.

The entirety of truth can be abstracted into objective and subjective generalities. Science investigates the theories of irrefutable truths, while art expresses and reflects the subjectivity of the individual. Disregarding one’s study of statistical truth versus the other’s expression of emotivistic truth, both encapsulate ideas on the premise of truth.

Art preserves and communicates truth, while science uncovers and develops it. Whether it is the revolutionary ideas of a poet or the expressed emotions of a musician, art communicates the personal truths of its artist. It is a reflection of its creator the historical and cultural context and the response of its audience.

Science becomes an art once the communication of ideas is implemented, whether through jargon, nomenclature, diagrams, or the aesthetic presentation of its information. Similarly art becomes a science once it becomes investigated logically, mathematically, or even sociologically. One does not operate independent of the other, especially not in opposition.

vocab

mendicant - beggar
florid - marked by emotional or sexual fervor, manifesting a complete and typical clinical syndrome
nexus - a connected group or series
lucid - clear to the understanding
squander - to spend extravagantly or foolishly
sanctimony - affected or hypocritical holiness
garner - something that is collected, accumulation
expiate - to put an end to
ruddy - having a healthy reddish color
pelt - a usually undressed skin with its hair, wool, or fur
mercurial - characterized by rapid and unpredictable changeableness of mood
expurgate -  to cleanse of something morally harmful, offensive, or erroneous
quiescence - tranquil
gauche - lacking social experience or grace
burnish - to make shiny or lustrous especially by rubbing
mitigate - to make less severe or painful
ubiquitous - existing or being everywhere at the same time
erudite - learned
perfidy - the quality or state of being faithless or disloyal
lassitude - a condition of weariness or debility
obfiscate - to make obscure
pilliate - to cover by excuses and apologies
limpid - absolutely serene and untroubled
perfunctory - lacking in interest or enthusiasm
penury - severe poverty
petulant - insolent or rude in speech or behavior
vigor - active bodily or mental strength or force
benign - showing kindness and gentleness
exacerbate - to make more violent, bitter, or severe
fidelity - the quality or state of being faithful
opporbrium - something that brings disgrace
antithetical - marked by antithesis
salacious - arousing or appealing to sexual desire or imagination
hallow - to make holy or set apart for holy use
rubric - an authoritative rule
fulminate - to utter or send out with denunciation
rescind - repeal, take back
impetuous - marked by impulsive passion
vilify - to lower in estimation or importance

maybe i dont mind being me

Cade: hey

Auto response from FF PaLaDiN UD: im tried of being different

Cade: at least you aren't boring
Cade: at least you don't do the same thing every day, day in, day out
Cade: at least people remember you, really remember you
Cade: at least you care about people :-)
Cade: at least you have to worry less about being sucked in to the easy malaise we all fall into where what is common is what is god
Cade: (which it isn't :-))
Cade: as unfair as it can seem, you're difference is here for a reason
Cade: what did Christ say about salt?
Cade: Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. (Matthew 5:11-12)
Cade: I know
Cade: it's hard
Cade: deep inside you just want it to be easy, to just skate through and be popular
Cade: but you're cut out for something deeper
Cade: it's like tea vs soda
Cade: soda is extremely sweet and tastes really good
Cade: but there's very little to it
Cade: and in the long run it'll rot your teeth
Cade: tea is kind of bitter
Cade: but is ultimately a much more satisfying drink
Cade: I know it is silly for me to lecture about how you should be happy to be different
Cade: but you have a courage I've never been able to muster without great consternation
Cade: I can barely find the ability to open my mouth when I think the Word should be defended to somebody
Cade: you air opinions that are extremely unpopular but you throw your whole weight behind them because you believe them
Cade: even if people give you shit
Cade: be glad you have that courage, I have a feeling that God will count your courage much higher than he will count my cowardice
Cade: the world needs you
Cade: God needs you to be you
Cade: without you, without that difference in the world, without that friction that originates with God, the world would never know him
Cade: *Him
Cade: Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. (Matthew 6:11-12)

Auto response from FF PaLaDiN UD: im tried of being different


Cade: if nothing else, at least this
Cade: As your life goes by, whereas most people kind of wander through with this inexplicable feeling, barely noticeable, that there is a hole, a vital peice missing
Cade: you won't have this problem
Cade: you'll have God, who persists through all time
Cade: when all pleasures and fun and notions fade, God will still be there
Cade: and at the end, when you face the Lord, you'll be able to sit with him in joy and peace
Cade: I hope I helped
Cade: nobody is without friends Sherol, there are many who love you just because you are you

millions of emails

today i asked the questions of what is jazz to...

c murray
v james
m arenson
j foster
t groves
f weiss
t palmer
r tauber
p rinzler
t betz

i still need to contact...

m robinson
spaulding
dre
w oree

chris and dan's excellent adventure

Date: Wed, 7 Jul 2004 17:21:18 -0400

Yee Haa!
We're in Johnson, Kansas right now staying at my aunt and uncle's house for
tonight and tomorrow. We've been having fun and our muscles are slowly getting
into shape. Kansas is beautiful. It's crazy. Eastern Kansas is not like what
you would imagine... it has hills and trees and lots of cattle. It's really
green (the locals say they've had an unusual amount of rain this year, which
we've had to ride through), and the sky is huge. Western Kansas IS what we'd
imagined. Totally flat, lots of wheat growing and lots of small, dancing
clouds. (EDIT(Chris): dancing clouds Daniel? I think he's getting a little to
poetic folks...sorry Daniel, but stick to science, jk ) For the past few days,
there hasn't been rain, and the sky is awesome
at night. Starting where we left off: We spent the night in on the Missouri
border with some college kids who we met at a Bible study at Pittsburg State
University. Back roads into Chanute, met a few cyclists who had gotten up to 53
mph coming down out of the Rockies. (Yahoo!) Head winds all the way to
Beaumont on hilly roads made us get only 65 miles the next day, when we had
meant to make 90. We struggled all that day and were exhausted at the end.
Providentially, there was a rest stop allowing camping, just as we had given up
cycling (we were walking up that hill, cause it was so hard to pedal against
the wind on tired muscles). [Interesting thing: often, it was easier to pedal
up the hill than down, because the hill blocked most of the wind while we were
on the leeward side. But we bore the full brunt of the wind on the downhill, so
it was harder.] We met some cool Kansans there who told us about milo (sorghum)
and the road conditions ahead. Then God brought some Christians to us while we
were sitting on the bench by the bathrooms. This large family was just getting
home from a vacation, and they gave us all their leftover food, including
chocolate bars!!! Then they tried to give us a Bible tract, but suprise!
(already know the info). We were invited to stay the night with them when we
arrived at their home in Wichita the next day.

We stayed at the rest stop for the night (on the side of a plateau, overlooking
a huge plain). A garganutan storm rolled in and blew all of our stuff around,
even lifting my sleeping bag off me so I had to jump up to catch it. We watched
the lightening for an hour until we were driven inside the bathroom by the
rain. AWESOME! The wind and colors were just what a Kansas thunderstorm sounds
like. No twister, though.

We showered and washed at our sunday school teacher's house (in Augusta) on
July
4, and had lunch with them and the pastor at Pizza HUT. Divine. Hooked up with
the rest stop family for an Indep. Day concert in Wichita, and then ate and
slept at their house, leaving in the early afternoon for Nickerson. That family
(parents, kids, grandkids) was so cool and inviting. They made us feel very at
home and one son gave Chris a CRKT (pocketknife). Home fireworks with them was
a great experience (though we didn't get to see a huge commercial display), as
we can't have them in DE. The dad (and grandfather) biked out with us for part
of the way, when we left. Much more stuff to talk about, but no time till we
get home at the end of the summer.

Met 4 bikers in Nickerson city park (our campout for the night), and then
stayed
up till 2am talking and then being herded by the sheriff into the local high
school girls' locker room / bomb shelter because of the huge storm that hit. We
didn't wake up till 9:30 (very late, compared to our usual 5-5:30), because of
the late night. But it was cool. We got picked up in Jetmore by my uncle, and
driven to their house in Johnson, where we are now. Kansas is the friendliest
state, by far, that we've been in. All drivers wave and give much room on the
road. Most people are more than friendly. Last night at Rozel, we camped in a
city park and two different sets of neighbors brought over bug spray and
barbeque dinner (one brought spray, one brought dinner) just because they had
seen us in the park.

Live it up!
Love, Daniel and Chris

Sat, 3 Jul 2004 19:36:26 -0400

Sheryl,

Hey, its been a while. I'm still in Costa Rica, but I'll be back in about 2
weeks, so I'll try to get ahold of you then. Hope all is well with you, and
that you're getting to relax some this summer.

I know this sounds kinda cliched, but I wanted to say... God loves you,
specifically. He made Sheryl just how he wanted her to be, and she is really a
blessing to lots of other people, whether or not she realizes how much of an
impact she makes. You don't need to deny that. It's true.

Anyway, have a lovely summer. I have some ideas for adventures when I get back.
Hope you're up for going out and playing a little.

Much love,
Laura

great american adventure

Date: Tue, 22 Jun 2004 14:23:15 -0400
Subject: Re:An Update

Hello All!
I know it's been a while, but here's another update.
We are currently in Hutchins Library, Berea College, Berea Kentucky. For
those
interested it's a little south of Lexington.
Well, we left UVA and stayed with our friend Neil that we met. Neal is very
into bicycling and rode with us to his house and then 20 or so miles the
next day. We stopped at the "Cookie Ladies" house in Afton Va, she has been
putting out refreshments and cookies for trans-America bikers since 76' i
believe. She is a wonderful woman and has a impressive bike museum that she has
put together from things that bikers have left her as gifts to thousands of
postcards, letters, and pictures that people have sent her. We had a few
miles of climbing to do up the mountain and were pooped at the top. Daniel had
broken several spokes earlier, and we were not able to fix the ones on his
back tire that were on the chain side, as we didn't have a big enough wrench.
So he rode 2.5 miles down the mountain to a bike shop and got his tire fixed.
Chris waited at the top of the mountain and chatted with Appalachian trail
hikers that were passing through ( the trans-America route and AT intersect at
that particular point ). Then we began to climb into the blue ridge mountains
on the aptly named Blue Ridge Parkway. It was starting to thunderstorm south
of us and as we began to climb we ended up pedaling through the clouds, it was
a beautiful and slightly surreal experience. We stopped at a hostel we had
heard about, it's run by a man named Rusty for mostly AT through hikers, but
it's open to bikers too. He has been doing this for 22 years on no income
but donations. He puts you up for the night in an old barn filled with bunks,
feeds you pancakes in the morning, and has a nice area for everyone to hang
out in. It's a real backwoods kinda place, I think he got electricity 2 weeks
before we got there. He is an amazing man and hopefully we will have a more
cohesive/comprehensive tale of our stay in Rusty's Hardtimes Hollow up soon.
The night we stayed, there was about 6 or so hikers, me and Daniel, another
biker from Montreal, and three guys on a Canoe trip staying there, it was very
cool. Over his 22 years doing this, I think he's had 18,000 or so hikers
come through his house/farm. He is a real man with a heart to serve.
After Rusty's it was onward and upward on the Parkway. We ended our time
on the parkway with a 4-5 mile descent into the valley with top speeds around
44 mph (yikes). It was very fun and very scary. Chris's knee's really began to
become a problem that afternoon, so after a stop at subway, we went on
towards Lexington Va. The next day, after camping on an old abandoned highway
that was overgrown, we headed of towards Natural Bridge, VA looking for a
Church, since it was Sunday. At the Natural Bridge Baptist Church we met Jim
and Shirley Earheart, who were interested in what we were doing and offered to
take us to their house for lunch. That morning Daniels mom (who is a nurse)
told us we needed to take a minimum of three-4 days of for Chris's knee, so we
were looking for a place to stay for 3 days. The Earhearts offered to let us
stay at their place for the night, and the pastor of the church had some land
that he said we could camp out on. We had a great time with Jim and Shirley,
Jim was a retired Aeronautical engineer turned ranch hand, who worked on the
Apollo moon missions back in the day. The next day we helped mow the grass and
check email. We decided since we were a day or two behind and looking at 3-4
more days of not moving we would call my Grandparents in Kentucky and see if
they could pick us up. In order to be able to make it to California in time we
thought it was necessary to do that. So, we got 270 miles in one night!
Our mothers thought that Chris should see a doctor and he recommended that
we take a few days off, and then step up the pace from 30 mile/day back to our
normal pace. It took several days for the cord to the digital camera to
arrive, and then we left on Saturday. We did 30 miles and ended up sleeping
behind an abandoned house off the road. We got up, after sleeping in for an
hour, and did 35 miles before church started. At church, we met a man named
Sam Brown who bought us lunch and offered to let us sleep on some land he
owned near Red River Gorge State Park. It was about 9 miles from the church so
we got 44 miles done Sunday. He came by latter that night with some watermelon,
cantaloupe, his 2 boys, daughter, and his niece. We feasted on melon and had a
good time with the Brown family, and we all drove into the state park so they
could show us some very impressive rock formations and vistas. All in all
another excellent day. The baptist church has proved to be nothing but friendly
and loving wherever we've been. I've been very impressed by their hospitality
and friendliness. The next morning we helped Sam mow the grass around his
cabin and he drive us 15 miles to natural bridge state park and showed us
around. We parted ways, and Daniel and I took an hour or two to hike around
the park and see the natural bridge. It's a great big arch of rock that's been
carved out by the wind or some sort of geological event and is REALLY cool. So
we headed south and west deeper into the hills of Kentucky and got another 30
some odd miles done, with 45 total for the day. We met a local farmer who let
us stay on his land for the night. We feasted on Chile, rice, and cheese, and
went to sleep. It started to rain during the night, and neither of us had our
rain fly's on the tent, but we were able to rush out and take care of business
before everything was soaked. That brings us to today, I'd say today
was one of the most scenic rides yet, maybe second to the Blue Ridge mountains.
We rolled through some beautiful valleys, surround by mountains on all sides
and peaceful farms and cow pastures. Best of all...a surprising low number of
hounds and mutts chasing us. The people of Kentucky seem to own an inordinate
number of baying, rabid mongrels that freely roam the country side chasing
bikers. But, besides the packs of dogs that we've encountered from time to
time Kentucky as been most enjoyable so far.
Sorry if this has been unorganized and rambling, but I just sat down and
emptied out a week and a half of memories that deserve much more time and
consideration, but I hope that this is a good overview of whats happened to
us. We hope to be out of Kentucky and Into Missouri in 4-5 days. Well, God
bless and hope to hear from you.
--Chris and Daniel

Wed, 7 Jul 2004 01:14:52 -0400

"Sheryl, I know you are busy reading a lot, but I would like to recommend
something every student of expression should read. I believe it is crucial
to fully understand your concept of art in order to place things in a larger
picture. You may or may not have an internalized concept of what art feels
like, but a excellent piece of literature that explores the question of
defining art is a book called "The Principles of Art" by R.G. Collingwood. I
also realize your research is based around the question, "What is jazz?" But
I believe you have a passion and are an artist, so I think another question
that you should explore personally is "what is art?" because that is really
the goal of much of jazz. I feel this will help you keep a relatively
concrete topic in a larger perspective of the goal of all forms of
expression. I think that exploring this question might lead to much
different results than defining jazz in itself, as they are on a basic sense
completely different subjects. Okay sorry for the ranting. Your site is
very nice, I definitely dig and it seems that you are getting a lot of work
done this summer. I am also doing research so I can relate. talk to you
later."

Date: Mon, 21 Jun 2004 11:43:35 -0400

"Hey Sherol, thought I'd send you an email to see how you have been. I am
going to have some time tomorrow to come and pick up some stuff from you
and talk around the evening after my lab lets say b/w 4 and midnite I am
free. SO let me know what works for you, I am glad that we are friends
b/c you are such a cool person!! If that didn't sound dorky, but its
true.... God has designed you in such a way to impact and desire to
impact people's lives in a positive manner whether or not they are
receptive to it and that is a gift. Do not let your pride get in the way
though of doing things even if they seem small or insignificant b/c those
little things need to be done too for the strengthening of the kingdom of
God, and always let God's glory be your driving push whether or
not people may see it/recongnize you or no. So now, ummm... I have been
having a good summer for the most part, lift me up in prayer when you get
the chance so that I may keep a GOd centered focus in life through my
relationships, and summer. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow so let
me know when we can get up aight... holla."

im racist against my own ethnicity

Asian-American... I'm not Asian, and I'm not American; so, I must be the hyphen in-between. In another sense, I am both an immigrant and an American. Some would think that I shouldn't think so much about it and just be glad to be here, but I'll never be able to amalgamate the pros and cons into a reason of how or why. I'm not Asian enough to understand why my parents chose to come here, or what a foreigner must think of America, and I'm also not American enough to take being American for granted.

Ethnocentrism is just a fancy way of implying that someone doesn't know any better. America stands for something worthwhile; I hardly see Americans as an adequate portraiture. What's the point of being great, if you don't know why you possess greatness?

There are two kinds of immigrants: those whose visas and family well-being are contingent on their performance as a student in the U.S., and the other kind-- like my parents. I don't know what it mean's to be the "model minority." I just remember my parents taking the lowest paying jobs and never complaining about it. It doesn't seem like such a land of opportunity when you don't speak the language nor do you understand the culture. They made me take piano lessons, they made me play the violin, and they gave me homework in addition to my real homework. Perhaps it was for my opportunities that the came to America. The validity in that statement is nearly inconceivable...overwhelmingly inconceivable.

closure on this homo debate

i feel like a horrible person for believing that homosexuality is a sin, like some ignorant savage. sometimes i wonder what the point of speaking my mind is, no one seems to understand what im trying to say. i usually take a fairly nuetral stand, but their arguments never seem to be well thoughtout, of course im going to find fault in them. and sometimes i feel like im just repeating myself over and over and over again....

the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak... this isnt a matter of whether the Bible is truth, this is under assumption that sin is sin. it doesnt seem likely that homosexuality is biological, but even if it werent a choice, it's not like i chose to be a sinner, it doesnt justify my sin.

as for equal rights for the oppressed....peope deny that right to NAMBLA, i guess i can see why, b/c both parties are not equally autonomous, but since the children must be protected, I believe that unborn fetuses should be as well, and if their extreme lack of automata denies them that protection, then NAMBLA should cease to be oppressed for their love crusade

im tired of this issue, but i feel like i have now completely exausted it...

u pitt personal statement

When I was a little girl, about 5 years old, my father brought home a Nintendo Entertainment System—back then they cost $199. I remember when I first fumbled with the RF switch and AC adapter. Somehow, these cable connections allowed this machine to project itself from the cathode-ray-tube that sat in my living room, and through a sequence of buttons, I could immerse myself into another world, adventures and adversity that my imagination was not yet sophisticated enough to construct on its own.

Even at that age, dialects were not my only medium of communication. On top of juggling the languages of two cultures, I began studying an additional means of expression—music. The cognition of language and the pedagogy of semantics were copious in my early childhood, and although it seemed to be thoughtless leisure at the time, the 8-bit processor that ran in my living room began training me to understand the digital interaction with my analogue precision from my 7-pin controller. Through a meager collection of capacitors and resistors, my childhood pastime allowed me to see the world in ways that real life restricted, not that my actions did not yield consequences, but that I could always go back and discover the correct way of doing things.

As a Science and Engineering Scholar, summer 2003, through the UD College of Computer Engineering, I worked in a team of programmers on a Mobil Ad Hoc Networking simulator for Military operations. This was a project lead by Dr. Stephan Bohacek, and specifically, I was given the role of researching military operations, working with OpenGL to efficiently create a way of producing urban areas, and helping to determine a conventional way for nodes to mobilize in such an environment. The Internet has introduced an ever-increasing amount of information to the fingertips of millions, although confined to the limits of wired communication. Long overdue, the next stage of this information, communication, and computation explosion will inevitably come with the deployment of Mobile ad hoc Networking—MANETs, impacting on every apparent aspect of life. It was the central goal of this work to advance the performance of such wireless networks.

For the first time in my undergraduate studies, I was challenged to apply my acquired knowledge in computers towards solving a much bigger problem. Significantly, it showed me a new level of motivation when taking on a project of my own, while having to cooperate with a team of more experienced researchers. The amount of mentoring I received as a Science and Engineering Scholar was priceless.

This encouraged me to aspire towards a graduate degree, leading me to the McNair Scholar Achievement Program. Through the structure of the McNair Program, I took on a more independent study with Professor Richard Hanley, of the Philosophy department. I submitted my proposal on “The aesthetics of Jazz” for the following summer, and although it seemed to be no more than a breadth experience to investigate my stretch of interests, as the project itself was revealed to me, I began to realize the tie between these two passions. I looked at Jazz through the eyes of a philosopher and collected the opinions from Jazz critics of all trades. This has led me to conclude that Jazz, more than mere music, is a language of its own culture. My infatuation with Jazz is not that different from Computer Science. Jazz is a language of emotions, and similarly, Computer Science is the study of communicating logic—both are mediums for expression.

After these intense attempts of exploration, there’s so much more I want to investigate. In particular, I am interested in Dr. Michael Lewis’s work with Controlling Robot/Agent/ Human teams for Urban Search & Rescue. The virtual test domains, especially, will provide opportunities for me to understand Artificial Intelligence and its ties to Humans and Technology.

Now, at the end of my 3rd year in college, I find myself just beginning to scratch the surface of the artificial intelligence anomaly, including my childhood infatuation with it. I don’t really know any better than the next person on whether or not the world needs to be changed, but I don’t believe that things have to be the way they are. There is much for me to contribute to the world around me, and I know that graduate school will bring me closer to finding out the kind of person who I am meant to become, with AI as my medium for inducing progress.

notes

politician said, video games don't deserve freedome of speech b/c they don't say anything worthwhile.

eureka!!!

i have found an answer!!!...(its on my main website somewhere) ^_^


i need to get in contact with these people...
vernon james
mark robinson
paul rinzler
spaulding
mike arenson
mike foster
ruth tauber
todd groves
tina betz
warren oree
jazz poet
andre
charlie murry
jamie newitt

tweedy & bohacek

things i need to do...
acad plan
cv
review
lib book
amazon pack
camera ret

the 20% majority

I would hardly think that 2 out of the 10 commandments represent the legislative moral obligation of our government.

When was the last time someone got arrested for...

#1 worshipping buddha
#2 saying, "oh, my god."
#3 really really really wanting a new car
#4 working on a Sunday
#5 talking back to parents
#7 looking at porn
#9 starting a childish rumor
#10 wanting someone else's bling (covetting, not stealing)

you were correct about #6 and #8 though, murder and stealing.

When you are speaking about the commandments you fail to realize that half of them pertain to one's relationship with God. I don't really see how one would enforce those. The Pharisees even tried to relegate Jesus with the Laws, b/c they wanted to see him slip.

Matthew 15:1-20

Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, "Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don't wash their hands before they eat!"

Jesus replied, "And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, 'Honor your father and mother' and 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,' he is not to 'honor his father' with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you:
" 'These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
their teachings are but rules taught by men.'"
Jesus called the crowd to him and said, "Listen and understand. What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.' "
Then the disciples came to him and asked, "Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?"
He replied, "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. Leave them; they are blind guides. If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit."
Peter said, "Explain the parable to us."
"Are you still so dull?" Jesus asked them. "Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.'"

99 bottles of beer on the wall

You can also say that a homosexual who cannot help his/her homosexual actions is like an alcoholic who cannot help having another beer.

The difference being that homosexuality is not considered a "disease," especially since scientists don't seem to be able to find that biological tie that explains the nature of it-- not saying that it would be if it did, but you get my point.

Try searching in Google for "Alcoholism Gene" versus "Homosexual Gene" and check the first few results of each search.

bring it onnn!!!

:)

I hope people don't associate those of us who do consider homosexuality as sin to be anti-homosexuals, moreso anti-homosexuality. Having lived with freshmen since I was a freshman, I also have a low opinion of drunkeness (ouch, I know.) I'm not more of a human nor am I a better person for being sober all the time, than I am being heterosexual.

The very topic of homosexuality was a catalyst in my questioning of what I truly believed in high school, and forced me to reevaluate my faith. I've given this much thought for years, so I assure you that my beliefs are not founded soley b/c I'm "Christian" and that's what I was conditioned to believe. I was not raised in a traditional Christian home; infact, I was raised Buddhist.

To assume that b/c my views are "oppressive," I am not close with any *real* homosexuals is incorrect. I've been to Haven meetings, was fairly good friends with one of the past presidents, and very good friends with one of her ex-girlfriends. My best friend in high school was a homosexual male, and continued to be my close friend in spite of his sexual orientation. I can't even remember all those times that I've inquired about their lifestyles, or the number of times I've thought to myself: "how can I tell this person that they are wrong, when they've fought so hard to be who they are now?"

I'm a person who clearly has major identity issues-- social, cultural, religious, AND GENDER. I can confidently say that I am a heterosexual woman, but I have no concept of what it means to live as these labels in American society (and you wonder why I'm so confused all the time.) My point being that although you've probably read 700000 of my words, you have no concept of who I am, until you know where I'm coming from.

Most people have struggled with homosexuality at some point in their lives, very few adopt the lifestyle, and even fewer speak of those struggles. I struggle with it just like I would struggle with pride, or lust, or materialism. It doesn't mean that I'm suppressing my true (in-the-closet) self, b/c I'm perpetually questioning whether or not I'm being Fo'ReaL. The very statement that I've had a homosexual thought before assumes that maybe I'm gay. My response to that is: I could care less if people think I'm gay, b/c who I am is independent of what other people think. The majority of Christians can't handle that; it's easier for them to seem perfect that to appear sinful.

I've concluded that homosexuality is sin, in collaboration with what I've read in books, talking to scholars who've devoted much of their careers to this topic, talking to pastors, reading articles, and, most importantly, reading the Bible. I also believe that we are free to chose to live how we like, and we can only be held responsible, as people, for actions against other people. As Christians, however, we are accountable for each other's actions against God.

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." Romans 13:8

...and in the end, I am a sinner, no better than any other.

^_^

(a bit too personal? probably...LOL, it's not like I have anything to hide, AND this is a good attempt at self reflection and a core-dump of thoughts)

LOL

It's quite amusing to see how much people read into one statement. The author of that article cleverly takes one sentence out of a whole sermon completely out of context, and successfullly manipulates his audience towards his bias views of a Christian man (and perhaps even Christians in general.)

If you've ever sat through a charismatic service, you could not deny the amount of intensity and passion that a preacher integrates into his message. He's trying to speak to the hearts of his congregation, and more likely to be boldly out of love than to fertilize hatred.

People are to judge this reverend based off of one instance of his message as a hateful homophobe, and at the same time castigating him for being judgemental. Hating on hate does not end hate, especially if the alleged hate is insubstantial.

I'm not saying he went about the best means of presenting his message. If anything that this man is guilty of, it is the controversy in the words he chose to use. I'm saying that we should thouroughly think through this man's intentions rather than hastily adopting the opinions of the author of the original article in how he is trying to portray the church.(whether intentionally or not.)

If a black preacher merely said that he was against gay marriage than no one would think. Everyone would just overlook the whole issue, b/c it is jaded. This is what things have come down to. It sucks, I know.

sin is sin

http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0421/boykin.php

Through deductive reasoning...

All Christians are sinners.
Sinners are not perfect.
Christians are not perfect.

"I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me." - God

First, I'd like to clarify that many people can claim to be Christian, but that alone does not aver their relationship with Christ; in fact, no one can bolster their Christianity without first acknowledging the castigation from their own sin.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" - Jesus

This isn't a matter of political freedom, because legislation will never obliterate sin. In the end, it is not through works that gets you into heaven, but by faith. Those precepts of doctrine have been established from the Word, but it was never up to our government to enforce them. It is the convictions of our own hearts and love for our neighbors that hold us accountable for these actions.

"If the KKK opposes gay marriage, I would ride with them." - Rev. Gregory Daniels

Whether or not Rev. Gregory Daniels speaks out of love is between him, God, and those who feel accountable for him through love. This man is just boldly making a point in a world where pluralism has infected society with not having to be liable for the lifestyles we choose to live.

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

God gave us the freedom to choose life or death, and our nation gives us the freedom to have our own opinions. If you are satisfied with the way you are, then it shouldn’t matter what other people think, and if others persecute you for that, then you should forgive them. If you can’t do that, then you must not be as satisfied as you thought.

We hardly know why we do anything anymore-- a world motivated by *emotivism.*

Allow me to explain what I actually meant.

+ if you are satisfied with the way you are, it shouldn't matter what others think.

The way you are shouldn't matter if you are satisfied with it, regardless of what other people think. This does NOT mean that if you are satisfied with the way you are, then other people can't affect the way you are able to live your life. If you can't stand to be challenged for what you stand for, then you must not be as steadfast (or "satisfied") as you thought. My point was explicitly in the closing statement, "We hardly know why we do anything anymore-- a world motivated by *emotivism.*"

My entry also stated:

+ This isn't a matter of political freedom, because legislation will never obliterate sin... Those precepts of doctrine have been established from the Word, but it was never up to our government to enforce them.

I can still believe that it is a sin to engage in homosexuality, and also believe that people have the freedom to choose to live that way. God gave us that choice, it's not for me to take away.

Political correctness can kiss my ass

My family is racist and they raised me in their ignorance. If a man walks alone in the dark, it will occur to every passing female that he is a potential rapist. When a tree falls and no one hears it, it doesn't make a sound.

The tree still falls, but no one knows about it; that's what political correctness has done to our nation. Hiding our prejudice doesn't make it go away.

...just the other side of the coin.

What we believe delineates who we are, regardless of whether we are the oppressor or the oppressed.

drunk people + fireworks = funny

/******************************************/

Auto response from FF PaLaDiN UD: anyone want to go see fireworks with me...let me know before 8:30 pm

or else...i guess it will be a solo adventure...;-)

/******************************************/

-----------------------------

i practiced sax, went home, went to church, sunday school was pretty cool, went back home to pick up some fruit, went back to dorm to grab whoever to go see fireworks.

...and the magical spot this year was the.....BIG PILE OF DIRT...aka the reservoir

(the past 2 years were, field house, perkins PG)

-----------------------------

here's a recap of my first visit to mt. newark (reservior)

1/14/04....

/******************************************/

"last night i climbed up a big pile of dirt....and i learned something cool...

stars make me smile...:-D

it was like standing on another planet...and watching the street lights change into sky..

it was so cool..that it didnt even seem that cold to me....perfect sky...perfect moment.....and i really needed it too...

i smiled the whole way home...enveloped in jazz...

it reminded me that sometimes its great not to be normal....:-D"


/******************************************/

-----------------------------

anyhoo, i stopped at kmart to get toothpaste and a disposable camera (didnt end up using it though, pictures are overrated.) i got one of those reach flossers and i flossed all the way up the mound of dirt. i was the only one there initially, and i got there right when the works started flaring. it was the first time the sun was high enough for me to read the "no tresspassing sign"...lol. i didn't expect to see what i saw-- all around me were fireworks, some from pretty far away, it seemed. surround sound popping and whistling.

not too long, some drunk people came up with *their fireworks. it was entertaining to watch them fumble around with the fire and sparks. the insults were pretty funny too, at the same time it did kind of ruin the moment. eventually the field house fireworks started up and it was a great view. if the flares flew high enough you could actually see where it cut into the clouds.

i met one of the drunks, and we actually had pretty good conversation. he invited me to go drinking with him later, and told me a bit about his degree and what he was doing around newark (he's moving to minnesota in a few days for a job.) i told him about my dreams of making profound video games. he asked me why i was there by myself, and i just said that i didnt feel like being at a spot where there would be lots of people (and LOTS of traffic...the field house...lol.) he was very nice (his name was either tim or dan,) he even offerred me a yuengling, but after the show i disapeared and came back to my room.

the guy told me about the failure that the reservoir actually was, and we both agreed that we were glad it was there (for the sake of the spot.) imagine all the people who drive by it, but never venture atop.

i came back to my room and read this message

/******************************************/

someone: just wanted to say i really like how you are so independent- i wish more girls were like you
someone: more people even

/******************************************/

-----------------------------

it was quite an adventure, reminding me of the PPG last year. my lil sister and her muddy feet.

this was written july 4th last year...

/******************************************/

"a tight group of friends...with countless adventures to share..u think im just joking...but it would be a dream come true...

i want to be able to start sprinting towards irrational impulse....(the kind that u cant stop to think about)...and not have to look back to see if ive left my friends behind...b/c id know they're running right along side with me....theyd feel it too...:-)...

...i think only then will i have finally found my place among people...."

/******************************************/

i ran accross the beach, just as the show was about to start. i didnt even look back to see if pete and the chinese posse were behind me. apparently, my little sister was the only one follow in my irrational impulse. i couldnt have even described my energy that night. atop the PPG i ran into justin and some of his friends, got invited to a party that year as well....eh, didnt go that time either...

:)

funnnnn...

Jazz Fest Finale

Friday night was pretty spontaneous, i ended up leaving the show about 10:00 to go check out a jam session that i vernon took me to.

vernon seemed to have all inside connections, within the ballroom of the baby grand. there were a lot of professional musicians there just jamming to the standards. ANNND there was free food. ^_^

it seemed particularly exclusive, and i did feel kind of odd being there. there was some group collecting money for a clifford brown statue. i donated $4 (it was all i had.) this would be a cool story to tell though, one day-- that i contributed $4 to the clifford brown statue somewhere in wilmington.

i met a christian drummer there, we talked a lot. he really wanted to know where he could get daily breads, so i ripped off a page that had the website. i recognized a few of the guys there from IAJE.

--------------------

Saturday, i rolled up before the sacred concert encore. i ran into vernon and his family and tom as well. i took a nice long nap on the steps of rodney square. i found brian and andrew chillin in their lawn chairs right before regina carter. people were booing the concert b/c of sound issues, but that was eventually cleared. regina carter wasn't as thin as her photo made her look. i spent the rest of the concert behind stage sitting on a cement block.

--------------------

Sunday, i was originally going to meet up with tim kim (he's thinking about an Asian christian fellowship, and i am all about that.) instead, i met up with andrew at the chinese fest (there was no way i was going to pay for parking, so we didnt stay.) we went right to the jazz fest at winterthur, the volunteer passes got us in for free. although, we tried to sneak away and got stopped by the golf cart patrol.

winterthur has the ugliest grass for a place that makes so much money, especially since they wont allow outside vendors. ($5 for a cheese burger, heck no.) i studied my GREs, lol. this guy kept on walking back and forth, who looked very familiar, turns out it was jack from U of Funk. man, he looked good playin that guitar. woooot! later that day justin manno came down to say hi, (recognized my "rogue" hair.)

cassandra wilson had a deeper voice than i anticipated. her songs were quite boring, and didn't sound much like jazz. professor foster noted that it was more of a folk feel. the afro-latin group was pretty hip though, especially that female alto player.

--------------------

thats it for the jazz fest, i still need to meet up with tina...i'll send her an email in a few days...

:)

TMTN

what is wrong with me..lol?

its quiet here...or maybe im just out of it...(thats not a good or a bad
thing)

im not good at answering vague questions...(i'm almost always ok)

i made pancakes today..

nee cee is at home...which is nice...b/c im so use to having my own
room...and im just chilling out

i practiced my saxophone...when i played for my instructor last thursday
he was really impressed...he said that my improvement from one semester is
like night and day...(which doesnt say much...b/c im not very good)...im
really going to try and practice everyday though

when i was little i use to write this story for a video game in my
head...i hadnt given it any thought in a really long time....but recently
its all i seem to be thinking about...

two things i wish i could do....skate board...and tap dance..

Graduate schools

JHU, CMU, Ucolorado, UWashington, USC, Upenn, Rice, Dartmouth, UCSB, UDel, RIT, UCLA

vocab

reconnoiter - to engage in a preliminary survey to gain information
reconnaissance - a preliminary survey to gain information
abrogate - to abolish by authoritative action
obtuse - lacking sharpness of intellect; not clear or precise in thought or expression
precept - a command or principle intended especially as a general rule of action
impecunious - lacking funds; without money
contiguous - being in actual contact : touching along a boundary or at a point
epithet - a characterizing word or phrase accompanying or occurring in place of the name of a person or thing
philistine - a person who is guided by materialism and is usually disdainful of intellectual or artistic values; one uninformed in a special area of knowledge
boor - peasant; a rude or insensitive person
churlish - marked by a lack of civility or graciousness; surly
ostentatious - characterized by or given to pretentiousness
pretension - an allegation of doubtful value
discordant - conflicting; dissonant or harsh in sound
chary - wary; cautious
extant - archaic; currently or actually existing
egress - a place or means of going out; exit
ephemeral - brief; fleeting
connoissuer - an informed and astute judge in matters of test; expert
commensurate - equal in measure or extent
ardous - requiring significant effort
abjure - abstain from
diatribe - a harsh denunciation
dilettant - one with an amateurish or superficial interest in the arts or a branch of knowledge
dulcet - generally pleasing or agreeable
encomium - glowing and warmly enthusiastic praise
enduring - to undergo (as a hardship) especially without giving in
empirical - based on observation or experiement
canon - an established set of principles or code of laws, often religious in nature
plumb - in a direct manner
forestall - to exclude, hinder, or prevent by prior occupation or measures
succor - something that furnishes relief
peruse - to examine with great care
exhort - to give warnings or advice
appeal - the power of arousing a sympathetic response
inherent - involved in the constitution or essential character of something; belonging by nature or habit
broach - to open up (a subject) for discussion
innocuous - harmless; causing no damage
convention - a generally agreed upon practice or attitude
picaresque - of or relating to rogues or rascals
rogue - a mischievous person
superfluous - exceeding what is sufficient or necessary
effrontery - extreme boldness; presumptuousness
recalcitrant - obstinately defiant of authority; difficult to manage
table - to place on the agenda
rebus - a representation of words or syllables by pictures of objects or by symbols whose names resemble the intended words or syllables in sound
implacable - not capable of being appeased or signigicantly changed

SOLDIER

I often wonder what it must be like to put your life on the line for a cause that you don't understand. In addition to a physical death, I remember (in Fahrenheit 9/11) a soldier said that a part of you dies when you kill another human being.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

There are people across seas dying for me. God bless America.

that's just silly

Freedom, of any sort, is not a by-product of reckless behavior and in any case, without discipline, is no more than an illusion. If the only means to satisfy your desires are through the destruction, injury, and death of the world around you, I hardly see accountability for those you live amongst. My point being, politics do not apply to one individual; rather, it is an interpersonal influence and consideration of all people.

Political freedom, in itself, is an oxymoron. What good is a government that does not set boundaries? The whole point is that we cannot always do what we want to. Boundaries are necessary as guidelines to orient ourselves, and without them we are trapped walking aimlessly in the dark. Nevertheless, freedom, in such a context, must first be established through diplomacy, not fear-- through discipline, not force.

Philanthropy versus Altruism

"Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion."

At one point in my life, I believed philanthropists to be altruistic. The older I get, the harder I find that to be the case.

money = (evil)^(1/2)

"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil."

The abated passion for knowledge has become a meager means for money. It isn't a matter of whether intellectual property should be protected-- by all means, give credit where credit is due; however, the incentive of our culture is that money is the main priority above all else. When I 'sponsor' an AIDs walk, I'm not trying to fund the motivation of the researchers.

The approbation of making profit proves my point. What is more important to our culture, that we have the opportunity to live cushy $50,000 lives this year, or that 11 million people have the opportunity to live? But then again, since money is our incentive to live, it appears we’ve encountered a catch 22. I pray that I grow to live my life aberrant from society’s accolade towards hedonism, because you cannot deny the cheapened value of other lives when the comfort of our own is at stake.